Harry Potter and the Extent of Existence
by Yih
Summary: Slash, HPxSS Part 2 of the PARADOX SERIES. 7 years is a long time. 7 years brings many changes. 7 years of trials, torments, and tragedies. What will the coming years bring? Continued in Harry Potter and the Paradox of Being.
1. Revelations

Title: **Harry Potter and the Extent of Existence  
**Author: Yih  
Disclaimer: This is slash, specifically HP/SS.  Don't like don't read and I don't own anything except new theories, Signy, Sahar, and Hana.    
Beta: Blackumbridge 

~

Should you _waver_  
I will be there to **pick** you up  
Should you _falter_  
You know I will be by your **side**  
Should you _weaken_  
I will lend you **strength**  
Should you _fail_  
You know I **won't** let you

~

1: **Revelations** (November 24, 2003 to December 1, 2003) 

"He's knows, Harry."  

"Fuck."  

"He knows that Hana's not your daughter."  

"How?  How does he know?  The glamour charm we did on her was bloody perfect!  And we had your help in creating potions so that the glamour couldn't be taken down, Sev!  Who told?  Someone had to tell."  

"Draco."  

"Draco wouldn't tell.  He fucking wouldn't tell.  That's his goddamn daughter."  

Severus sighed.  "I know.  He was given Veritaserum.  Bellatrix wants more than anything to break you and Hermione up.  She doesn't care how she has to do it.  I don't know how she discovered that it was even suspicious.  You and Hermione play the happily married couple very well, exceedingly well."

"Then why?  How?  Damn it all.  This plan was suppose to be fool proof."  

"Things never turn out the way they're suppose to be," Severus responded resentfully.  He was still angry that Harry had chosen to do the foolish thing of marrying Hermione to protect her from being a muggleborn witch that was also a single mother.  He gritted his teeth together.  "You were suppose to bind yourself to me, Harry."  

Harry pulled Severus into his arms and held him tightly.  "You know I love you more than anything else.  You know that if I hadn't had to, I wouldn't have.  You know that.  Hermione's my best friend.  I couldn't let her die.  I couldn't.  You know of _his_ new laws.  He's a fucking hypocrite, but he wouldn't make any exceptions unless I extended my protection over her."  

"You're his favorite," Severus whispered throatily, pushing Harry against the wall.  "You're _his_ favorite, that's why he hasn't killed her.  And you should have known that there's nothing more that Bellatrix wants than to have Sahar get a more secure place in his regime than for her to marry you.  His daughter and his favorite Death Eater joined in holy matrimony.  Her greatest dream realized."  

"Sahar loves Sirius."  

"Sahar will do anything her father tells her to do," Severus sneered.  

"She doesn't have a choice."  

"Neither did I," Harry murmured sadly.  "Neither did we."  

Severus bent his head down and seared Harry's lips with a fiercely passionate kiss.  He knew exactly how to melt his lover of seven years' resistance with a flick of a tongue and a measured caress.  "Tell me you want me," he hissed.  

"You know I want you.  Love me, Sev.  Please."  

"You know I do."  

~

"What are we going to do, Bast?" Hermione cried out, looking horrendous from her crying.  "He knows.  He _knows_.  Dray told me over the floo.  What are we going to do?"  Tears slid down her face.  "I never should have let you marry me.  Now you're in danger too, and it's all my fault."  

Harry reached over and pulled Hermione into his arms.  "You foolish girl," he murmured softly into her ear.  "It's not your fault.  I decided to bind myself to you to protect you.  All of us decided that this was the best.  You know that Lucius may love his son, but even he won't protect his grandchild.  There's too much at stake, especially when Draco can have other children and with the extermination law that Voldemort made that summer.  There was no other way."  

"But still…"

"But nothing."  He brushed a kiss over her forehead.  "I don't regret marrying you, 'Mione.  I love you like a sister.  And you've been wonderful about accepting my relationship with Sev."  

"How could I not?  You've accepted mine with Dray."  

"He's the father of your child."  

Hermione shook her head.  "No, you're the father of my child.  Dray's just the one that impregnated me.  Hana's your daughter, Bast.  She's yours.  I don't care if in actuality she looks like a Malfoy through and through without the glamour charm.  She's your daughter, and to her Dray's just an overbearing Uncle."  

"Someday we'll have to tell her."

"Someday," she agreed.  "One day if we survive this."  

"We will survive this," Harry stated determinedly.  "I will find a way."  

"I hope so."

"I will.  Believe in me."

"I do."  

~

"Sebastian."  

"Master," Harry whispered reverently as he got down onto his knees before Lord Voldemort.  "You've called, I've come."  

"I don't think I have to tell you why you're here."  

Harry had been expecting this for days.  He'd been surprised when he hadn't been summoned immediately.  "It's about Hana and Hermione, is it not?"  

Voldemort nodded gravely, his crimson eyes piercing into Sebastian's soul.  Harry knew that Voldemort was a gifted legilimens, but his training with Severus and Remus had prepared him for anything that the Dark Lord might throw his way.  He was adept at occlumency, not as skilled as Severus but his empathy helped him unexpectedly in helping him to present believable emotions to Voldemort.  

"You lied to me, Sebastian.  You know that I do not tolerate lies."  

"I apologize, Master."  Harry bowed his head low enough so that his forehead touched the ground.  It was the ultimate sign of submission.  Harry almost never bowed to Voldemort, and certainly when he did it was only a slight tilt of his head.  But by doing this, he let the Dark Lord know that he was serious.  He was sorry.  

"Apologies aren't good enough."  Harry tensed his body.  He knew what to expect.  "_Crucio!_"  

His body twitched and twisted with the agonizing pain.  He might be able to alleviate some of it, but that didn't mean it made the pain go away.  It made it more bearable, but that was the extent of it.  He didn't know how long he'd been under the curse, but he'd thought he'd heard Voldemort apply the curse a few more times onto him.  He knew why.  Voldemort knew the curse didn't affect him as much as it did to others.  But he'd also discovered that applying the curse more than once, indeed a few times, could wring a scream out of Sebastian.  

Harry didn't know when he started screaming.  The third time?  That was usually when he started.  He felt like every brain nerve had been fried and strung out.  He didn't know how he was still alive.  This much pain he didn't even know a human was capable of feeling and still be able to remain conscious.  The Dark Lord certainly knew how to torture.  What use was torture if the afflicted victim passed out?  

Voldemort watched Sebastian's convulsing body with detachment.  He had to punish him.  He didn't like seeing his favorite reduced to this state, but he wasn't going to tell anyone of that.  Oh, he liked his torture but physical torture for Sebastian was so unsatisfying.  He never broke, even when he screamed he didn't break.  He just had to release something to bear the pain.  He never begged, never did he ask him to stop.  Yes, it was quite unsatisfying.  The point of torture was to break the soul.  

No wonder Sebastian was his favorite, he mused.  He didn't break.  He was strong.  Sebastian reminded him a great deal of himself.  His crimson eyes flickered over to where Sebastian's basilisk was being restrained by her elder sister.  Protective young thing wasn't Signy?  A deserved familiar for his favorite.  {Ssstop it!  Ssstop it!} Signy pleaded, begged for her Sebastian.  {Pleassse.}

{He lied to me.  He mussst be punissshed.}

{Thisss isss too much.  You will damage him.}

Voldemort realized this.  That was why he was timing this perfectly.  He knew exactly when he needed to release Sebastian from the Unforgivable.  It still astonished him that Sebastian could withstand the effects of 3 _Crucios_ on his body.  It must be his superior mediwizardry.  Not even Severus, the most stubborn of his Death Eaters could compare to Sebastian in sheer willpower to endure _Crucio_.  

{I beg you.  Massster of All.  Pleassse releassse him.  End thisss curssse.}

He glanced at Sebastian dispassionately.  He was willing when Sebastian had endured to the limits of his reserve, only then would he release him.  Favorite or not, Sebastian had to be taught a lesson.  He didn't care to make his demands on Sebastian yet, but he would.  Oh he would.  Tonight was about torture and punishment.  Tomorrow, or actually probably in a week or so--- however long it took Sebastian to heal, would be about extortion and blackmail.  

{Massster, he cannot ssstand much more.  Massster?}

"_Finite Incantantum."  _

There was blood everywhere.  He had ripped Sebastian to shreds with his curses.  He would make a guess that the pool of blood around Sebastian was only a tidbit of the blood that was probably filling his internal cavities.  If he didn't cast a healing spell on Sebastian, he wouldn't make it back to Hogwarts alive.  However no matter how angry and betrayed he might feel by Sebastian, he still didn't want his favorite dead.  It wasn't the ultimate betrayal, and the action could be rectified.  

"_Medicor sano.  Medicor sano.  Medicor sano."  _

The external wounds disappeared.  But Voldemort had no doubt that Sebastian's innards were still violently ravaged.  As talented of a wizard as he was, the strongest wizard seen since Merlin himself, even he could not pretend to know everything.  His specialty was in offense magic, especially offensive dark magic.  Sebastian's forte was defense and medimagic.  A highly skilled mediwizard would be needed to treat Sebastian. 

He gestured for Bellatrix to emerge from the shadows where she stood watch.  She had requested to be here, and he'd consented to allow her to view the punishment.  "Apparate to St. Mungo's.  Sebastian will need a team of healers if he's to survive the night."  

He noticed that her face was pale.  In a way, he knew that Bellatrix was fond of the boy.  There weren't many that weren't afraid of her.  Lucius and Severus weren't, but she thought of them as her competition and therefore despised them.  Sebastian she saw as an asset to Sahar and therefore herself.  That was why she liked Sebastian.  That was why she wanted him for Sahar.  

"Go."  

She went.  

He fixed his gaze on Signy.  {Take him back to Hogwartsss.}

{Yesss, Massster.}

She slithered to her Sebastian and wrapped her body around him tightly but carefully.  She didn't want to hurt him anymore than she had to.  He was hurting bad, she could almost feel his pain.  She might be a magical creature, but she was no phoenix.  She wasn't that empathetic nor did she have any healing powers.  She wished she did, but all she had the power to do was to bring death and destruction.  

But she could do this.  She could bring him back to Hogwarts.  {You will be fine.  I will not let you die.}

She apparated and was gone.  

Voldemort sat there with a grave expression.  {Wasss I too harsssh?}

Asta slithered up to her Master and angled her body so that she was eye level with him.  {You did what wasss necessssssary.}

{I wisssh he hadn't done what he did.}

{If he hadn't, he wouldn't be Sssebassstian.}

~

_"Wake up Sebastian.  Wake up."  _

_Harry heard Severus's voice, but he couldn't bring himself to open his eyes.  He felt like he was almost there, almost able to yet he couldn't.  He couldn't open his eyes.  He felt heavy and dragged down.  Where was his strength?  Gone.  Far away.  Lost to him._

_He'd just lived through the living nightmare again.  He'd seen his father being killed by Voldemort.  He'd seen his mother die to protect him, the ultimate sacrifice.  It was his mother's love for him that had kept him alive.  There was nothing else but that.  It was his worst memory and his only memory of his parents.  _

_"Wake up.  You're having a nightmare, Sebastian.  Wake up."  _

_He opened his eyes and gasped when he saw Severus's face hovering less than an inch away from him.  He lurched away and nearly fell off the bed if he hadn't been caught by Severus's strong arm.  "Is that anyway to greet a lover in the morning?" Severus teased, trying to lighten the haunted look he saw in his lover's eyes._

_Lover?  What?  Oh God.  Oh Merlin, yes.  He'd finally managed to wheedle away at Severus's bloody self control last night and convinced him that he didn't want his first time to be gentle, that he wanted to be taken hard fast and furious.  It had been ecstatic and so bloody erotic that he couldn't see straight.  He'd never felt as completed as he had last night.  It had been perfect.  _

_"Sorry about that," he mumbled.  "Not use to waking up with someone."  _

_"I would hope not," Severus remarked possessively, his arms circling around his young and only his Sebastian.  "And I think you have some explaining to do.  I heard things that you cried out at night that need some clarification."  _

_"Yes?"  _

_"How do you know James and Lily Potter?"  _

_Oh fucking hell.  What he had he said in his sleep?  He had no idea.  How could he?  All he could consciously remember was seeing his mother being killed by a piercing green light that extinguished all life out of her when he was a baby.  Then having that same awful curse cast on him.  That was his last memory, so what had he said?  How had he said it?  Damn if he knew.  _

_"I don't know what you mean."  _

_Severus's dark eyes gazed down unrelentingly into his.  "You were mumbling in your sleep about them, Sebastian.  You kept saying Lily Potter and James Potter.  Then you'd start screaming.  I don't know.  Did last night upset you?"  _

_Oh god.  Last night had been unbelievable.  His ass was still sore.  Deliciously sore.  "No, last night didn't upset me," Harry declared fervently, leaning over to kiss Severus hard but his lover avoided him.  "Sev?"  _

_"How do you know the Potters, Sebastian?" Severus asked sharply this time.  "They were before your time.  You shouldn't know them.  You shouldn't.  Explain yourself."  _

_It was time.  He still hadn't believed he had managed to hide this from the man that he was in love with all this time.  "They were before my time," he admitted.  If there was anyone that deserved to know, it was Severus.  "It was because of me that they died.  Do you understand the implications of that, Severus?"  _

_"What?" Severus croaked.  "But they died…"_

_"For their son."_

_"Oh god.  But---" Severus tried to deny, "you died.  You're suppose to be dead if you are.  He killed you.  I watched him strangle you.  You were dead.  And even if you weren't dead, Godric's Hollow was set on fire.  There was nothing left but ashes."  _

_"It's true," Harry murmured.  "I did die here.  But I'm not from here."  He caressed Severus's face gently.  "I'm from an alternate universe, that's why I got injured badly that time.  I was trying to go back home, but the portal's closed.  Or something like that.  I can't go back home.  The last time I tried… was before graduation."_

_It was a lot for Severus to digest, but Harry clung to the hope that Severus would understand and not be too terribly upset.  "I wanted to tell you, Sev," he continued emotionally.  "But Dumbledore told me not to tell anyone, that it was for my own safety.  Because… you see… in my world, I didn't die and Voldemort was defeated then.  He didn't die, but he did fall from power.  Do you understand why?  Can you forgive me for not telling you who I really am?  I'm Harry Potter, not Sebastian Biggerstaff._

_"Oh god, love, please say that you forgive me.  Sev?  Love?"  _

_If it weren't for the desperation in Sebastian's eyes--- Harry's eyes, Severus wouldn't know what to think.  It certainly explained a lot about Sebastian's--- no Harry's abilities.  From the limited information Severus had managed to dig up about the Biggerstaff family lineage, nothing indicated that their son would have the magical inheritance that Sebastian had.  However, if Sebastian was the child of Lily and James Potter--- that was certainly not out of the question.  _

_"You're Harry Potter?" Severus croaked.  "You really are the son of Lily and James Potter?"  _

_Harry nodded miserably.  "Yes.  Yes, I am."  _

_"That certainly explains some things," Severus remarked, surprising Harry when he pulled him into his arms.  "It would only be in your bloodlines to be as powerful as you are.  Though, it's surprising that you aren't better at Transfiguration as that was Potter's specialty, but your Charms abilities are certainly on par with your mother's and she was more than adequate at Potions."  _

_"You aren't angry at me?"  _

_"I'm in shock," Severus told him bluntly.  "I don't know what to think.  You died here, yet you came from an alternate dimension and managed to find a place here so perfectly that you've fooled everyone into believing you are Sebastian Biggerstaff.  I'm horribly conflicted, but I know that there's no one that makes me feel the way you do."  _

_"It's the same for me," Harry murmured breathlessly, wrapping his legs around Severus's waist.  "I'm serious when I say I love you, Sev."  _

_"Will you still say the same thing even when I watched him kill you here?" Severus questioned lightly although his eyes were dark with concern.  _

_"You didn't actively participate, and in my world you tried to save me from Voldemort."_

_"I didn't stop him.  That makes it equally my fault."  _

_"But it wasn't!" Harry protested.  "It wasn't, and I love you.  I love you, Sev.  I do."  _

_Severus laughed harshly, but didn't bother trying to sway Harry's earnest declaration.  "What was I like in your world, Sebastian?  Or should I call you Harry?"  _

_"Sebastian in public, but you may call me whatever you want in private," Harry whispered.  "You were not nearly as nice as you are in this world, but you were still a good man.  You worked for the Order like you did here.  You were brave even if you were courageous under the fire of heavy criticism.  Everyone believed you a Death Eater, but you were the most loyal Order member there is.  You were Dumbledore's greatest asset, his only spy."  _

_He was no such thing here, but he didn't have to let Sebastian know about that.  He didn't.  That information was best kept hidden until he could sway Sebastian into seeing the truth, that Dumbledore wasn't the gentle good wizard that Harry thought he was.  Dumbledore was different here.  At least now he knew why Sebastian trusted Dumbledore absolutely.  His Dumbledore must be different and he must be deluded into thinking they were the same.  _

_They weren't.  Sebastian had to see that.  They were different.  If he could see that he wasn't the same, Severus would make Sebastian see that Dumbledore was also different.  He didn't care how long it'd take, he had to make Sebastian see.  If he didn't, Sebastian would fall prey to Dumbledore's dangerous machinations.  And Severus would NOT allow that to happen.  Sebastian was his, his lover, his Sebastian, his only.  No one else's.  _

_Severus couldn't see Dumbledore being different in the other dimension, but he guessed it was possible.  Dumbledore had been different before the Dark Lord had risen all over Europe.  Not as manipulative, though still crafty--- he had to be.  But he hadn't been willing to sacrifice anything to win.  And that had been his charm, Severus could see how Dumbledore could lure a young Sebastian into utmost loyalty--- that was how Dumbledore had gotten to him.  _

_But Sebastian was his.  He bent his head down and capture Sebastian's sweet lips into his.  "You're mine, Sebastian, mine."  _

~

Oh god.  It was worse than he'd expected.  He hadn't thought that Voldemort would act against Harry that badly.  Not even in this betrayal.  It wasn't like Voldemort had given Harry a choice, he'd forced Harry to do this by making that ridiculously hypocritical law.  The Dark Lord should have known that Harry wasn't the type to let his friends die, and Severus had thought being his favorite would save him from a punishment too harsh.  Severus was deadly wrong.  

But no one hurt his Harry like this.  No one.  Severus clenched his fist and tightened his jaw.  It had taken years, but he had finally convinced his innocent lover that Dumbledore wasn't the great man in this world that he was in Harry's world.  Severus would put Dumbledore and Voldemort on the same playing field, even giving Voldemort a head up since he wasn't a sly, side sneaking bastard like Dumbledore had turned out to be.  Voldemort didn't hide that he used people.  That, at least, was merit to his name.  

And Severus had managed to prevent Harry from foolishly going against Voldemort, not until they were ready--- if they ever would be.  To effectively betray Voldemort, they needed more on their side than they had.  Having the Malfoys on their sides would certainly be a boon, but they could only count on Draco.  Lucius was loyal enough to Voldemort not to switch, though he wasn't infallible like Bellatrix and Sahar Lestrange.  

"Daddy!" Hana cried out, tears streaming down her face as she ran after her father's broken body.  "Daddy!  Daddy!  What happened?  What happened to Daddy, Mommy?  Why is Daddy lying there?  Daddy!"  

Hermione was too emotional to say anything.  All she could do was hold out her arms to her daughter, the daughter that was the spitting image of Sebastian.  She had been charmed to look exactly like Sebastian, even down to his vibrant green eyes.  In reality, her true appearance was far different.  She was a Malfoy through and through.  When she'd been born, there had been no doubt whose daughter she was.  She was Draco's.  

She felt Hana collapse into her arms, tears drenching her shirt.  Hana might be Draco's daughter biologically, but there was no doubt who Hana's father would be in her heart.  It was Sebastian.  Hermione didn't even want to think about how Hana would take the news that Sebastian wasn't her father.  She was such a daddy's little girl; Hermione knew she wouldn't believe it.  She wouldn't.  She wouldn't.  

"Wait Severus!" Hermione cried out as the Potions Master was about to follow his lover and her husband to the medical ward.  "He was… punished because of me, wasn't he?" she asked in a trembling voice.  

Severus nodded briefly, seeing no reason to deny the cold hard truth.  His lover, his Harry was almost dead thanks to her incompetence in getting pregnant with Draco's child.  If she hadn't, they wouldn't be in this mess now, not that the mess would be any less his inner subconscious mocked.  If Harry wasn't married to Hermione, he would be married to Sahar.  Either way he wouldn't be married to him.  

He stalked after his lover's unconscious body.  He didn't want to think about it.  He didn't want to think that maybe the greatest joy in Harry's life wasn't even his unquestionable love, but that of his adopted daughter's.  He was jealous of a little brat of a girl that was undeniably Draco's child.  She acted just like Draco as a child; she was a brat, and having Harry spoil her didn't make her attitude to others any better.  But to Harry, she was the sweetest angel.  To her daddy, she was an absolute princess.  

"I want Daddy!" sobbed Hana, clinging to Hermione because Sebastian wasn't there.  "Is Daddy going to be okay?  Why is Daddy unconscious?  Please… don't let my Daddy die.  I promise… I promise I'll be good.  Just please don't let my Daddy die."  

Severus stopped.  He turned around and gave Hermione and Hana a cold gaze, but his eyes softened a bit when it rested on the enchanted emerald eyes that were so much like his beloved.  "If you want… you can come with me.  Poppy will allow you if you're with me to see your Daddy."  

He didn't know why he was doing this, being nice to this bratty girl that shared his Harry's devotion.  He supposed that it was because he knew that it would make Harry happy, and he guessed that despite his envy he had a bit of a soft spot for this imp of a girl.  He held out his hand, only to have Hana jump into his arms.  At 6, she was entirely too big to be jumping into his arms, but he didn't growl at her.  They'd get there faster if he carried her.  

"Uncle Sevvie," he hated it when she called him that, and the damn brat knew it, "will Daddy be okay?"  

"I don't know."  

~

"Draco Black Malfoy."  

His platinum blond hair was touching the ground as he had his head bent so low that his forehead was nearly touching the ground.  Draco was scared.  He was frightened for Hermione, for Hana, and for Sebastian.  Oh god, what had he done?  He should have been smart enough, wise enough to know that it only took one time having sex without protection…

"Your father should be pleased."  Voldemort paused deliberately, his crimson eyes studying the normally elegant young man that was currently trembling with fear.  "After all this time of complaining about not having an heir, he does.  Albeit, it's a girl--- it nonetheless is a continuation of the Malfoy line.  And a girl heir is nothing to be ashamed of."  

His eyes shifted toward the figure cloaked in black next to him, his daughter Sahar.  He had acknowledged, two years ago by the encouragement of Sebastian, Sahar as his daughter and as his heir.  "It's a pity that her mother was a mudblood, but such tragedies like that cannot be helped.  I expect you to start immediately raising your daughter as a Malfoy, and continue where Biggerstaff has left off in bringing her up as a loyal young Death Eater.  Do you understand me, young Malfoy?"  

"Yes, Lord, but…"

Interesting.  Even though Draco was shaking with fear, he still had enough of a spine to put in a but.  Despite what Lucius had said that his son was weak for falling for a mudblood, Voldemort saw strength in the younger Malfoy for standing up against the elder.  It wasn't easy defying a father like Lucius.  "But what, Draco?"  

"Hana thinks Sebastian is her father, and… and she loves him so much that I don't think I can ever replace him in her heart and… I don't want to destroy what is her entire existence," Draco finally finished, looking up with tears gleaming in his silver eyes.  "Is it too much to let Hana continue to think of Sebastian as her father?"  

Voldemort glanced toward Sahar, it was up to her.  "She needs to know who her real father is," Sahar stated firmly.  "And she needs to learn the Malfoy blood magic.  Besides, the glamour on her will only last so long.  And I know that the Malfoy looks breed true.  She'll look exactly like you, Draco.  It's better to tell her soon rather than for her to have to find out the hard way."  

Draco knew that, but he also knew that whoever told Hana that Sebastian wasn't her father was going to face her terrible wrath.  If there was ever a Daddy's girl, it was Hana.  Even Sahar couldn't rival Hana, not that Voldemort was the affectionate father that Sebastian was.  And as much as he'd love to have Hana call him 'daddy' he never would have made the father that Sebastian had made toward Hana.  He didn't have the patience nor the understanding to handle a young child's antics--- Sebastian did.  

"Draco, I am not happy that you've decided to taint the unquestionably pure bloodline that was Malfoy when you decided to have a child out of wedlock with a mudblood," Voldemort began patronizingly, "but I can understand the mudblood witch's allure.  She is a brilliant witch, is she not?  I believe she's the youngest ever professor at Hogwarts, even eclipsing Severus though she attained her Mastery a year behind him.  And her daughter should make you a suitable heir… and you do love the witch, don't you?"  

Draco nodded his head miserably, not even bothering to deny it.  Hell, his father knew.  His mother knew.  His whole family knew that he loved Hermione Granger with all that was his sodding heart.  He'd argued, he'd pleaded with them to let him marry her only to have himself stunned and locked up in the dungeon for daring to stain the Malfoy name with a mudblood.  "I do," he whispered hoarsely.  

"What if I told you that I'll force Lucius to allow you to marry the witch?"  

There had to be catch, a great catch.  "If I did what?"  

Voldemort chuckled, not a laughter of good cheer but malicious and calculating as befitted a Dark Lord.  "If you convinced Sebastian to marry Sahar, that is."  

Draco heard a gasp and thought that it came from him, but his mouth wasn't open.  It was then that his brain registered that it had come from Sahar.  "I won't!" she cried out, her eyes flashing defiantly.  "I won't marry, Sebastian!"  

The Dark Lord narrowed his eyes, and Draco cringed inwardly.  Even if Sahar was his daughter, that didn't mean he wouldn't curse her with an Unforgivable.  "He is THE strongest wizard other than me.  I daresay he's a good deal stronger than that mangy old Dumbledore.  And you will need him by your side when I decide your ready to prove that you're my daughter."

"I am your daughter!  I am your daughter, Father!  I am your flesh and blood.  I may not be a parselmouth, but I am a serpent animagus.  That is as rare as the parseltongue gift!  And I am the witch that's the youngest to hit majority since Morgaine!  I don't need Sebastian by my side to prove that I'm your daughter.  Anything you ask of me, I can do it.  I promise you.  I swear to you."  

Voldemort's crimson eyes bore down on his daughter heavily.  "I have Europe.  I want the Americas."  

"Then I will give that to you, Father.  If that is what you want, then I will get it."  

~

Poem Note: Any guesses to the speaker?  It's obvious I think.

Author's Note: There will be NC-17, but I'll probably do it as an interlude and post it on my mailing list.  So if you haven't joined, join and if you have joined geez review why don't you.  I have 3 chapters written and I'm working on the 4th one.  I can release fairly often during the break but I'm afraid if I do… you won't see much during the school year so it's really up to you.  Let me know in the reviews.  I don't see an end in sight for this story as there is one more arc for me to do (when Harry goes back) so we'll see how long I survive to push this out.  Reviews help and this is certainly a thought provoking chapter is it not?  Worth the wait?  

Uber-thanks to the **reviewers of the preview** and to the _nice people that didn't threaten to kill me or disparage my name after the snippets_.  If I didn't post the snippets this chapter wouldn't be as good as it is.  So I did have a reason.  It was to prepare you for this chapter.  Anyway, happy reading and tomorrow's my birthday so this is my early birthday present to you.  


	2. Waiting Time

Title: **Harry Potter and the Extent of Existence  
**Author: Yih  
Disclaimer: This is slash, specifically HP/SS.  Don't like don't read and I don't own anything except new theories, Signy, Sahar, and Hana.    
Beta: Blackumbridge 

~

2: **Waiting Time** (December 2, 2003 to December 5, 2003)

"I won't marry you, Dray, get up off your knees."

"Why?" he demanded.  "I don't understand, this is what we've wanted all these years."  

"It's what you've wanted all these years."  

"You can't say you don't love me anymore!  I know you do!  I know that you love me!"  

Hermione smiled sadly.  "It's true.  I still love you, but my place was never meant to be by your side, Dray.  There's too much against us.  Even if the Dark Lord wants us together, it's because as you've told me, he wants Sebastian and Sahar together.  But they don't want to be together, and if they don't--- there's no reason to force me and Sebastian apart.  There's no need to shatter the perfect life we've made for Hana, our daughter."  

"Hana has to learn sometime that she isn't Sebastian's daughter, Herm."  

"But she doesn't have to learn that right now.  She's only 6 for Merlin's sake, Dray.  She's too young to have her happy home life disrupted!  I won't ask Bast to disavow our wedding vows unless he wants to.  It doesn't mean I don't love you, but love sometimes isn't enough."  

Draco cupped Hermione's face gently and drew her close to him.  She didn't resist him; she could never resist him.  "Don't say that.  Don't say that love isn't enough.  It has to be.  I've never given up on us, how can you?"  

"Because," she whispered painfully, "I saw it almost kill my best friend."  

"What?"  

Her eyes widened with shock and a bit more kindness.  "You didn't know?" 

"Know what?  What did _he_ do to Bast?" Draco cried out.  "What did the bastard do?"  

"_He_ ripped Bast's insides out and it was all Poppy and the best team of surgical mediwizards from St. Mungo's could do to save him.  He's as stable as they can get him.  They really need to transfer him to St. Mungo's, but they don't want to risk flooing him at least not until his vital signs are stronger.  Severus is with him now, so is Hana.  I've never seen Hana cry so much.  It tears me up inside.  

"Bast has sacrificed so much for us, Dray.  And if there's one thing that's been worth it for him, it's been Hana.  I don't want to take her away from him.  Hana's as much his daughter as she's mine or even yours."  

He knew that Sebastian had done a lot for them, but he had never thought that Hermione would say no to him when they finally _could_ get married.  He'd always thought the only reason that they weren't together was because his father would have him committed to St. Mungo's if he dared to marry Hermione.  Lucius had threatened just that, and had locked him in the dungeons when he'd tried to run off and elope with Hermione.  

If Hermione hadn't convinced him that she couldn't bear to see him in St. Mungo's or Sebastian stepping up to shelter Hermione underneath the protection of his name--- he would have married her seven years ago.  Even if Hermione was saying that it was for Hana's sake, they could still have Hana think she was Sebastian's daughter and just tell her that the marriage wasn't working out.  Divorce wasn't unheard of in the wizarding world, and it was becoming more common.  

"It's not only for Hana's sake is it?  And I don't mean it's for Bast's either."  

"What are you talking about?"  

Draco had his suspicions.  He'd always wondered if it was an act, or if Hermione was really happy with Sebastian.  Sometimes, he didn't think that it was but Hermione had always told him that he was the love of her life.  Was it possible?  Could she fall for her best friend?  She had fallen for him… after all.  "Do you love him?"  

"Bast?" she queried.  She nodded and he thought his heart was about to break.  "Of course, I do.  Why wouldn't I?"  

"I mean, are you in love with him?  Do you have feelings other than that of a sister for a brother, more than that of a best friend?"  

"I can't believe you're asking me this!  You know that I love you, Draco Black Malfoy!  I love you!  I'm in love with you!"  

"You aren't denying that you love Bast, though," he pointed out.  

Hermione gave him an exasperated look.  "You are the bloody love of my life, and I'm not in love with Bast!"  

"Are you sure?" He still sounded uncertain, as if he didn't believe her.  

She growled and pulled his face down so that she could shut him up with a kiss.  "You're the one I love, and if I didn't think it was the best for all of us for things to stay as they should--- I would marry you in a heartbeat.  But this is better for Bast and it's better for Hana, and it doesn't hurt me either.  I know that you've always wanted to marry me, Dray, but we've still got all our life, and not being married hasn't hurt our love.  I think it's only strengthened it.

"You know that I'm practically the only one that will give Bast what he needs, a free rein to pursue his relationship with Severus.  And for Hana, Bast is the best daddy he could be for her.  As for me, Bast is there for me when you can't be and he's a wonderful husband and a marvelous best friend.  I have the best of both worlds.  A caring husband and a passionate lover that I'm mad about."  She kissed him hard.  "I do love you, I love you so much."  

"I love you more."  

~

He still hadn't woken up yet.  Poppy and the team of mediwizards they had called in from St. Mungo's said that he'd live.  They said that most of his injuries had been healed up as when they'd gotten to him, there had been a healing spell cast by a powerful wizard that had stabilized him enough for them to do the surgery that got to his internal injuries.  Severus was slightly relieved that Voldemort had not been angry enough to deny Harry the medical treatment he'd need to survive.  It did pay to be _his_ favorite.  

"Do you know how much I love you?" Severus whispered hoarsely, his hand reaching up to gently caress Harry's cheek.  It was late at night, the only time he'd been alone with his lover with the throng of people that had been in and out of the hospital ward.  "Do you know I can't live without you, my love?  Do you know how badly you scared me when I saw you, looking near death?  Harry, won't you wake up?"  

His Harry didn't stir, but the magical monitor that was measuring his vital life signs was steady and though not strong--- they weren't weak either.  He was going to live, that much was clear, but it still wasn't clear the extent of damage that Harry had suffered.  They would have to wait until he woke up because he had been placed under _Cruciatus _so long that it could have driven him mad.  

Severus wouldn't think about that.  He couldn't think about that.  If he did, he'd go mad.  Harry had to be okay, he didn't believe that Voldemort would drive his favorite insane--- not when he wanted Harry to marry Sahar.  But Voldemort was incredibly touchy when it came to Harry.  Severus didn't even want to think about what Voldemort would do if he found out that Harry was in love with him.  Not good.  Definitely not.  

"If you won't wake up for me, won't you wake up for Hana?"  

He was jealous of Hana, that she had so much of Harry's love and affection, but he had to admit that little girl loved Harry fiercely.  It hurt his heart to watch her cry endlessly over Harry's prone body until Hermione had taken her aside and told her that she had to go and let daddy get better.  Hana had reluctantly left, but not after showering kisses on her daddy's face.  Harry loved Hana, and Hana most assuredly loved him.  

"Don't you know how much we both need you?"  

~

She kissed him softly on the lips, desperately trying to reach him but he would not be reached--- not by her.  "Please," she begged, "I love you so much."  He would not look her in the eye.  "Marry me, Sirius."  

He looked at her but with those eyes that she hated, those detached and uncaring eyes.  "I'm not in love with you," he enunciated clearly.  "You know that I love Remus."  

Her eyes filled with tears and she nodded helplessly.  "I know that you love Remus, but don't you love me just a little?"  

"You know that I love you, Sahar, but not like that.  I can't love you like that.  You're like the daughter that I've never had."  

"If I'm the daughter that you never had, how could you sleep with me?  Don't tell me that it was just a fit of stupidity.  You've slept with me more than once, Sirius, and you weren't drunk either."  

Sirius's dark eyes pinned her with that gaze of intensity that she craved.  "It was me being foolish, and you should have known better.  Don't you respect yourself more than that, Sahar?  You know that I love Remus, and only him.  He's the only one for me.  You should move on," he told her with a note finality.  "You know your father wants you to marry Sebastian."  

What he didn't add was that if Sahar married Sebastian, she might be able to wrestle him away from Severus's clutches.  He _still_ didn't understand why Harry was _still_ in a relationship with that Snape bastard!  He couldn't comprehend the attraction or the love the two shared.  Severus was an utter bastard and a possessive one at that, Sirius thought darkly.  His godson deserved better, damn it.  Why did Harry stay with Severus?  He could do better, and Sahar was a brilliant and beautiful young woman.  

"He's married to Hermione Granger," Sahar retorted.  "And he's happily married to her!"  

No, it's a fucking sham.  But he didn't say that.  While it was common knowledge among the higher ranked Death Eaters that Hana wasn't Sebastian's daughter but Draco's, it wasn't well known that Harry was in a serious long term relationship with Severus Snape.  How they'd managed to hide it all these years still puzzled Sirius when they were blatant about it when they were together.  

Sirius didn't approve of their relationship, but that hadn't stopped them.  Seven years later, they were still as devoted and as mad about each other as they had ever been.  The sting of their relationship had lessened over the years, and he'd grudgingly admitted that Severus did indeed love Harry, but still--- the age difference and even more--- that Severus was unnecessarily harsh to Harry.  

"You know that your mother wants the marriage as well," Sirius stated instead.  "What your mother wants, she gets."  

"I won't be my mother's bitch."  

"But you'll be your father's."  

She narrowed her eyes, she might love Sirius more than life itself--- but that didn't mean she had to take shit from him either.  She had pride, her father's and her mother's and her own, and she wouldn't take crap from him--- especially when she didn't deserve it.  "If I was my father's bitch, I would never have dared to love you.  I would never have saved your lover either!"  

"Why did you save him?" Sirius questioned, he'd always wondered but he'd never asked.  As the heir of Slytherin, it had always puzzled him why she hadn't taken her rival for his affections out--- but he'd been thankful that she hadn't.  "Why did you, Sahar?"  

"Because I knew that if I didn't, you'd never look at me with any softness anymore," she cried out.  "And I couldn't bear that.  I love you too much to ever want to hurt you."  

"It's not the Slytherin thing to do."   

She nodded.  She knew that.  "But aren't you glad that I didn't?"  

"Of course I am," he responded.  "You shouldn't even ask.  You know I'm thankful you saved his life, and if he knew--- I'm sure he would be too."  

She shrugged.  "I don't care about what he thinks, I only care about what you think."  

"I know.  But you did a good thing, Sahar, saving his life."  

"And you still don't love me.  What do I have to do?" she asked in a small voice.  "What do I have to do to make you fall in love with me?  Why can't you love me?  I've tried so hard, I've done everything and you don't."  

"I don't know," he answered truthfully.  She had done everything.  She did anything and everything that she thought would make him happy, and he just couldn't fall in love with her.  "You're a beautiful and brilliant witch, Sahar, but you can't make someone love you.  It just happens."  

"And you can't make me stop loving you," she whispered painfully.  "Merlin knows I've tried."  

He drew her close to him and hugged her tightly.  They were two sad souls.  She loved him and he didn't love her, not in that way.  Meanwhile, he was in love with a werewolf and even though Remus loved him too--- they could never be together while Voldemort ruled over Europe.  It was _forbidden.  _   

~

"Lucius."  

"My Lord," Lucius murmured reverently, his face bent down, "Master."  

"Did you know that Hana Biggerstaff was your granddaughter?"

Lucius shook his head.  He had been administered Veritaserum by Severus.  He couldn't lie even if he wanted to.  "No.  I did not know that Hana Biggerstaff was my granddaughter, if I had known I would not have allowed a mudblood to raise her."  

"I am sure that Draco has told you what I want."

"Yes.  You want to break up Sebastian and Hermione by having Draco propose to Hermione."  This was painful for Lucius to say.  He might not hate Hermione Granger, but she would never be good enough to take on the Malfoy name.  She was a mudblood, for Merlin's sake!  It was bad enough that his granddaughter was half mudblood!

"Sahar has told me that she does not want to be married to Sebastian," Voldemort remarked.  "I think the match is a good one.  I still have yet to discover how Sebastian has the parseltongue ability, but he does have _some_ Slytherin blood in him.  That gift doesn't pop up randomly.  It is the bloodline.  It could be that he comes from a bastard lineage.  And what records that have been dug up about the Biggerstaffs have dead-ended. 

"Without a family relic, it's impossible to do any blood magic spells to discover his lineage," Voldemort said sharply.  "But it doesn't matter.  I already know that he does have some Salazar Slytherin in him, and I intend for Sahar's child to continue to strengthen the line.  I can only imagine what their child will be like.  The strongest witch since Morgaine mated with the strongest wizard since Tom Riddle.  I shudder to think how powerful their child will be, definitely worthy of being the Heir of Slytherin."  

"A worthy grandchild," Lucius murmured, "unlike my own."

"Hermione Granger is not a witch to be underestimated, Lucius," Voldemort chided.  "She may be a mudblood and if Sebastian had not married her, dead years ago, but she is a powerful witch.  Her majority came later than expected.  Her hard pregnancy probably had something to do with it.  At 22, her majority is quite respectable and she could have possibly hit it at the same time as Bellatrix."  

"That is true, my Lord."  

"It is too bad that the child was conceived after both of her parents hit majority.  But the child's magical signature has not suffered for the lack of magical energy that her parents had to bestow to her.  Then again, I'd expect no Malfoy child, bastard or not to be squib.  Your line has always bred true."

Lucius smiled briefly.  "It has."  

"I know that Granger has said no to your son, but I want him to keep trying.  I want Sebastian to be the father of Sahar's child.  I want him by her side when she tries to conquer the Americas.  I also expect you," Voldemort's crimson eyes bored down heavily on Lucius, "and Bellatrix to work together on the common goal of securing the Americas."

"I understand, my Lord.  But…"

"But?"  Voldemort didn't look displeased nor surprised, Lucius often questioned his actions.  Malfoy arrogance, but he was in a generous mood or else Lucius would have been writhing under _Cruciatus.  _He didn't feel like he should punish Lucius for his strength all the time; sometimes, it was necessary to reinforce the master-servant relationship.  Besides, he had no doubt in Lucius's loyalty to him.  While it wasn't quite to the degree of Bellatrix's, Lucius's allegiance was nothing to sneer about.  

"Sahar has said no."  

So that was it.  Voldemort knew that Lucius despised Bellatrix, but he'd always suspected that Lucius held a soft spot for his niece by marriage.  Sahar did have some of his charisma, and she had spent her childhood in Lucius's house.  "Sahar has said no because she wants to prove herself.  I know she's capable, but as her father _I want to protect her_.  It is the same for you, with Draco?  You wanted to protect him, that's among the reasons you didn't want him to marry the Granger witch, am I not right?"

"You are right," Lucius admitted reluctantly.  There had been more than the reason that Hermione was a mudblood.  He'd known that the Dark Lord was working on a law about exterminating the mudblood wizards and witches.  He couldn't afford Draco to risk his life for hers, if it came down to it.  And it hadn't, fortunately.  Also, he couldn't bear to think that his Dragon would have fled willingly with her to the Americas where most of the mudbloods had run to.  "I wanted to protect my son."  

"As I want to protect my daughter.  She is strong but with Sebastian, she will be even stronger.  I want that for her.  And you will get that for her.  I don't care how Draco does it, I want Draco to marry Hermione."  

"Yes, my Lord."  

"You will do this, Lucius."

"I will."  

~

"She won't marry me."  

"Our Lord wants you to marry her."

Draco's silver eyes narrowed into slits.  His father was a fierce opponent, but he wasn't his father's son for nothing.  "I already asked her and she said no.  She wants to stay married to Sebastian for Hana.  Hana really loves her daddy."

"But you are Hana's father."

"But she has been raised thinking Sebastian is her father."

Lucius pinned his son with a gaze that said _you must do this.  _"Hana is a Malfoy, and I refuse to have her raised as anything else.  I don't care if her mother is a mudblood, she is still my granddaughter."  

"Would you," Draco began with trepidation, "still acknowledge Hana as your granddaughter if our Lord hadn't forced the issue?"  This he had to know.  Even if Hana didn't think that he was anymore than her godfather, he was fiercely proud of his energetic daughter.  She reminded him of a more carefree version of himself, a more affectionate him.  Why wouldn't she be?  Bast and Herm lavished love on her.  Hana was a lucky little witch.  

"She is a Malfoy," Lucius stated vehemently, "even if she's a half blood."

"Would you have protected her against our Lord if I had told you when she was born that she was a Malfoy?"  

"She wouldn't have been able to live in Europe," Lucius responded.  "But your mother and I would have made sure that she grew up comfortably where it was safe for her.  In a way, you made a good choice in having Sebastian marry Granger.  As our Lord's favorite, he got a reprieve for her and her half blood daughter.  You could at least have watched her grow up, even if she doesn't know who you really are."  

"Yes," Draco remarked painfully.  "And she is very much my daughter.  She might love Bast more than anyone else, but she acts like my daughter and she has the Malfoy looks."  

"The Malfoy line breeds through.  She'll be a strong witch despite you and your mudblood lover's being magically immature.  She won't be as strong as your other children, but she won't tarnish the Malfoy name."  

"Other children?"  He was confused.  As long as he'd ever known, the Malfoys had always given birth to one heir to continue the line.  Of course, it might be because his heir was a girl instead of a boy.  But there was a precedent.  Three hundred years ago there had been a Malfoy heir that had been a girl and she had gotten her husband to take her surname.  "But…"

"Our Lord," Lucius began sharply, "wants those under him to have more children to strengthen the wizarding world after the mass extermination and exodus of mudbloods from Europe.  He wants us to repopulate the wizarding population in Europe, and that means for the Purebloods to have more children.  

"I agree with him to a certain degree that we have been selfish in hoarding our wealth and status by limiting ourselves to having a single heir in every generation.  That has done a lot in weakening the power of our presence."  This made sense why Lucius would want this to Draco, Malfoys had always craved power.  He would be wrong to say he didn't either, he did--- just not as much as his father.  

"So you want me to marry Hermione and have more children with her?"  

Lucius nodded.  "Precisely."  

~

"Why won't daddy wake up, mommy?" Hana asked in a whimper, her eyes filled to the brim with her unshed tears.  "Did I do something bad?"  

Hermione's heart broke.  How Hana could think it was her fault that Bast was currently lying in the hospital ward struggling for his life saddened her.  It also made her realize the terrible reality that even though Hana was incredibly mature for her age in some ways, she was still a child.  There were some things that she didn't understand, and children tended to think everything that happened in the world revolved around them.  Sometimes it was bad; other times, it was tragic like this.  

"You didn't do anything wrong, sweetie," Hermione responded, holding her arms out to her daughter.  Hana came to her and allowed her mother to hold her tightly.  Hermione felt a sharp pang in her heart, it wasn't jealousy, just understanding the pain that Hana must be feeling.  If Bast wasn't fighting for his life, Hana would have been in his arms.  "Never think that, okay?  Daddy just had something bad happen to him, but he'll be all right."  

"He doesn't look all right, mommy."  

"I know, baby, but he will be.  You trust, mommy don't you?"  

Hana nodded and pressed her forehead into her mommy's neck.  "You swear daddy will be okay?"  

"I swear sweetie, I swear."  

God, Hermione hoped he would be.  There was no doubt that Bast would live, but she had heard the mediwizards talking to Poppy.  They weren't so sure he'd come out of this with a sound mind.  She remembered the Longbottoms' case that they'd cited as a precedent.  The _Cruciatus _curse had been applied on them for nearly half an hour and they'd gone insane.  The curse had been applied multiple times to Bast for far longer.  It was enough to drive any mortal insane, no matter how powerful Bast was.

"Mommy?"  

"Yes, darling?"

"I want to find a shooting star tonight."  

"Why, sweetie?" Hermione questioned, a bit puzzled by this request.  Sebastian only encouraged their daughter's weird antics, and she thought it made it worse.  But she didn't stop him from indulging her, she liked seeing them both happy.

"Daddy says you can make wishes on them.  I want to make a wish."  

"And what would you wish for?"  

"I can't tell you," Hana replied solemnly.  "The wishes don't work if you say them out loud, but what else would I wish for mommy?"

Yes, what else would anyone wish for?  "Let's go find the star then."  

~

Author's Note: Lucius isn't a total bastard.  Voldemort a ruthless dictator.  Hana's darn cute.  Sirius isn't the ultra good guy.  Sahar is pathetic yet draws sympathy.  Draco was a brat when he's little, so why wouldn't Hana be?  Harry's totally out.  Will he lose his mind? BWAHAHAHA!  Sev's desperately in love, poor greasy git.  I adore the next chapter.  I simply adore it.  Too bad you won't see it for a while (at least 'til next week).  On a sadder note, I'm going through muse withdrawal again.  So sorry.  It happens, especially since I spit out 4 chapters that fast and another series (that has 5 chapters).  Um… I don't know when I'll start writing.  It could actually happen at any time.  Muses are random buggers.  

Thanks to **Siderius Cimmerii** (SL & HP are very much friends), Lady Snake, hjlavery, nikki, Zaira-Draco, Doneril, Elena, Silaqui, Carya, **Lisa13** (Yes HP will be going back.  You'll find out about the other world shortly.), **Leiri** (TY, my beta corrects a lot for me and she does a good job with the limited time I give her), Coo, **Natara** (SL will do anything to please her father, even if it is the impossible), **Eriee** (HP will go back), Kateri1, Kathy stgqvk, **Ann** (Possibly will get darker, won't say anything else), **RainWaters** (Unfortunately life isn't happy all the time), **Lina Inverse the Dramata **(I never said Voldemort was good and neither is Dumbledore evil, just corrupt), severlover, snowy, loverwren, lightyearsaway, **Jrou** (Nope), Witchy-Althea, Shinigami061, **chibi** (HP & SS are just not together legally, but they are together unlike SB & SL which is probably the saddest love story, even DM & HG are together in a sense.  Draco's not a bad father, but I don't think he has the patience to deal with a daughter exactly like him and HP likes DM so makes sense he'd like the daughter whose exactly like his best friend.), ozzypoos, elusive_love, Nicole, Dark Artist, Grey Malwell, deliolith, DaughterofDeath, wanderingwolf, Atermisu, **Ewolf** (ch.3), bramblerose-proudfoot, Quila, Calimora, Xyverz, Laura (Jo) Jade, Lishel Fracrium, Clairvoyant Snake, Lolita, ambrezwenko, The Goddess Artemis, Redrum, atalante, Lindiel Eryn, shelleykids, **Calyx-girl** (it was Sev), Sammy, **Hele1** (Hana was conceived just out of school and you'll find out about the Potions Mastery), marishamarish, athenakitty, **ennui deMorte **(SL is her father's puppet), Raistlin Majere, Corgi1, Kyra2, RaNdOm Hp FaN, asa-chan.  


	3. Flashbacks

Title: **Harry Potter and the Extent of Existence  
**Author: Yih  
Disclaimer: This is slash, specifically HP/SS.  Don't like don't read and I don't own anything except new theories, Signy, Sahar, and Hana.    
Beta: Blackumbridge 

~

3: **Flashbacks** (December 8, 2003 to December 10, 2003)

_"Don't touch me."  _

_"Sev…"_

_"I don't see why you have to marry her.  Send her away.  All the muggleborns are fleeing to the Americas, let her go with them.  It'll be safer for both of you that way," Severus told him in an almost pleading way.  _

_"You know Voldemort will promise me anything if I take the dark mark."_

_"But he won't like this request!" Severus shouted._

_"She's my best friend, Sev."  _

_"What about me?"  _

_Harry tried to caress Severus's prominent cheekbones, but Severus drew away from him sharply.  He refused his touch, and it hurt Harry keenly.  "You know you're the bloody love of my life."  _

_"Then bind with me."  _

_His heart dropped.  He had tried to get Severus to bind with him all summer, ever since they'd consummated their relationship but he had refused.  He'd said that he wasn't ready, that he was too young to know what he wanted in life.  Harry had persisted only to get rejected each time.  He hadn't given up, but saw that continuing the pursuit would only make Severus draw further away from him.  _

_As happy as those words would have made him feel a mere week ago, he knew that Severus was only doing this so he wouldn't marry Hermione.  God, Severus had never told him that he loved him--- no matter how many times Harry had told him that.  Would saying those three words cost him so much?  Harry knew that Severus loved him, but he hadn't ever heard it.  Severus had to, there was no reason for Severus to put up with him otherwise.  Nor did he have any reason to keep his secret either._

_"You know I can't.  I can only bind to one person," Harry whispered painfully, "and that has to be the one that I'm going to marry.  She needs me more than you do, Sev, and I can't bear for her to leave here when I can stop it.  Her entire family is here, and if I marry her she'll be safe.  Her family will be too."_

_"You are taking a huge risk.  That's if Voldemort agrees, and this goes against his latest set of laws.  He won't be pleased.  No, he's going to be furious even if everyone thinks you'll be his new favorite."  _

_"Then I'll have to risk that."_

_"You know that he wants you to marry Sahar."_

_"She doesn't want to marry me."_

_"That doesn't mean anything to Voldemort."  _

_"If he doesn't, I'll take Hermione with me to the Americas.  It's not like he'll know that she's not carrying **my** child.  To everyone else," Harry declared fiercely, "it'll look like she is.  Draco isn't going to deny it, he wants this.  He doesn't want to see Hermione go far away from him, where he'll almost never be able to see her.  This is the perfect solution."_

_"It's a foolish one."_

_"You know that if I didn't have to do this, I'd bind to you right now," Harry whispered vehemently.  "But you're only asking me this because I'm doing this.  You're a possessive bastard, you know that?"_

_Severus snarled and grabbed Harry by his hand and jerked him toward his hard body.  "You know that I am," he whispered dangerously into Harry's ear.  "You knew what you were getting into when I first took you in my bed and fucked you.  I don't think I've ever made anyone scream as loudly as you did."  _

_Harry shuddered and trembled as he felt Severus's hand snake downward to rub against the arousal that was already evident.  God, how could Severus make him ache for him by just talking with that voice of his?  His hips thrust into Severus's hand instinctively even if his mind was telling him that he shouldn't be doing this.  This was exactly the way Severus acted when he wanted to get his way with him.  _

_"You're mine, Harry," Severus declared possessively.  "I don't want you to marry Hermione."  _

_Breathing harshly, Harry managed to drag his body away from Severus's addictive touch.  "I have to do this, Sev.  God knows I don't want to, but Draco and Hermione need this."_

_"You are acting like a sacrificing Gryffindor."_

_Harry cringed not because he was ashamed, but because of the fury in Severus's dark eyes.  He couldn't bear to have Severus angry with him.  If he thought that kissing Severus would make it better he would, but he knew that it wouldn't.  "You know the sorting hat had a hard time placing me."_

_"The sorting hat is never wrong.  You are a Slytherin.  Act like one!  Stop being so bloody noble!" Severus shouted.  _

_"I can't.  It's the way am.  It's who I am."_

_"I just don't want to see you make a mistake that you'll regret.  It could turn out badly."  
  
Harry drew Severus into his arms.  Yes, he knew that Severus only wanted to protect him.  "If I don't do this, I'll regret it.  And don't be so pessimistic, love, it's not going to turn out badly.  Voldemort wants me too much to let this phase him."  _

_"You're a silly moronic idiot."_

_"I know."  _

_Before Severus could say anything else, Harry lifted his head down and dragged Severus's head down to capture his lips in a brutally tender kiss.  It was meant to reassure; it was meant to comfort; it was meant for love.  _

~

_{You're late,} Voldemort hissed once he'd apparated into the room.  _

_Harry sank down to his knees and pressed his forehead against Voldemort's boots.  It was the sign of ultimate submission as this was a most vulnerable position.  Harry was just glad that the Dark Lord had a bit of a one track mind.  He only noticed that Harry had been late; he didn't seem to realize that Severus was also late.  Harry fought to keep the smile off his face.  He still couldn't believe that he'd managed to coerce Severus into a quick shag in an abandoned corridor before an Inner Circle meeting._

_Most pleasurable, he thought with delicious remembrance, his ass would be sore for a few days.  If he closed his eyes he could still vividly feel the sharp and strong thrusts of Severus filling him.  But he couldn't think about that, not right now, not when Voldemort was deathly displeased with him for being late.  Death Eaters weren't late, and as his favorite--- he'd always made sure he was exactly on time.  This was the first time he'd dared to be late.  It hadn't been intentional--- it'd just happened.  He'd been too drained to apparate after that mind shattering sex.  So had Severus._

_{I apologize,} Harry hissed back.  {But Sssigny needed a sssnack before we came.}_

_His basilisk was semi wrapped around his waist and up his body so that the perfect length was wrapped around his neck.  Signy was still small for a basilisk, but it would be many years before she was full grown.  But even then, she wasn't going to be very large.  However by the time she was fully grown, she'd be far too large for Harry to carry her.  {It isss my fault Massster,} Signy responded, even though it wasn't true.  She'd do anything to protect Sebastian from punishment._

_{You are a pretentiousss basssilisssk,} Voldemort commented, though he was a good deal less angry.  There was something about serpents, in general, that calmed his vile temper.  {Perhapsss Asssta needsss to teach you sssome mannersss.}_

_{I will go to her,} Signy stated calmly, unwrapping her long body from around Sebastian's and slithering graceful away.  She only stopped when she reached the entrance into Asta's lair and turned around, pulling up to a towering height.  {You will pick me up later, Sssebassstian!}_

_{I will,} Harry promised.  _

_{You give her too much control,} Voldemort admonished.  _

_Harry shrugged.  {It pleassses her, and it pleassses me to pleassse her.}_

_Voldemort reached out with his hand to caress Sebastian's cheek.  {Does it pleassse you to pleassse me?}_

_He told himself not to flinch at the touch of his parents' murderer.  He could not give himself away, not after having come so far--- not after getting this close to Voldemort.  It was a well known fact among the Death Eaters that he **was** Voldemort's favorite.  He'd done the impossible.  He'd replaced Bellatrix as Voldemort's most highly regarded Death Eater, and Bellatrix had held that position for more than 20 years.  _

_Oh, Bellatrix was still his consort of sorts.  Harry was glad that the Dark Lord didn't see him in that way, not that it would do them much good.  Male pregnancies were nearly impossible.  Not completely impossible, but only the darkest of potions and the leaching of the one who carried the baby would allow a child to grow.  It **always** resulted in the death of the one that carried the child.  Besides, Voldemort would much prefer Sebastian to live and be the father of his grandchild.  _

_It was known through the Death Eater ranks that Voldemort wanted Sahar and Sebastian to wed.  When Voldemort had heard that Sebastian, his most coveted to-be Death Eater had wedded a mudblood, his rage had wiped out a muggle village.  His anger had lessened when Sebastian had pledged absolute loyalty to him, and had pledged his newborn daughter's as well.  _

_He'd thought it had been insanely foolish of Sebastian to get a mudblood pregnant, but when he'd met the pretty witch--- he'd understood how Sebastian could succumb.  But still to taint his pure but diluted Slytherin blood with that of a mudbloods?  No matter, he would one day see Sebastian married and the father of his grandchild.  It was only a matter of time--- it was only a matter of calculation and manipulation.    _

_It only made it easier to him when he discovered that Sebastian had been orphaned when he was very young, and had never really grown up with a real family.  Voldemort didn't doubt that Sebastian had some strain of Slytherin blood in him, and that made him part of **his** family.  As he'd grown to know the vibrant young man, he'd considered him to be almost like a son to him.  _

_{Yesss,} Sebastian answered, {you know it doesss.}_

_{Then you ssshould know it dissspleasssesss me when you are late.}_

_{I won't do it again.}_

_{Sssee that you don't.}_

_Gesturing for Sebastian to rise, Voldemort turned his attention to the true importance of the meeting.  He had finally decided that it was time that they start preparing the new members of the Death Eaters, the junior Death Eaters by having a senior Death Eater presiding over a group of them in their raids of initiation.  Of the newer Death Eaters, only Sebastian and Draco had been raiding.  The rest were still training hard; they simply hadn't hit majority early enough to consider raiding.  _

_"I expect," Voldemort declared, his crimson eyes scanning over his Inner Circle members, "this to be an absolute success.  You will each personally mentor with the other older Death Eaters and their junior underlings to make sure of that.  Do you understand?"_

_His five members of the Inner Circle all nodded.  Voldemort gave the dismissal signal that meant they could start working on the task that he'd given to them.  As Harry was about to apparate out, Voldemort hissed, {Ssstay Sssebassstian.}_

_Harry shot Severus an apologetic look before turning around to Voldemort and sinking to his knees once more.  This time he didn't have to stay on his knees long as Voldemort immediately gestured for him to rise.  He wondered what Voldemort wanted from him.  He didn't want to spend more time with his parents' murderer than he had to, but as the Dark Lord's current favorite--- that was unavoidable.  He was afraid, the more time spent, the more he'd grow complacent and even to like this slightly deranged but unquestionably brilliant wizard.  _

_{My Lord?}_

_{Ssstrip.}  Harry's eyes widened.  He hadn't thought that the Dark Lord was interested in boys.  Perhaps, he was very wrong.  Either way Severus was definitely not going to like this.  For Merlin's sake, Severus was jealous of Hermione when Severus knew that Hermione and him had never had any sexual relations.  {I have yet to mark you,} Voldemort remarked soothingly.  {I couldn't mark you conventionally like the rest because you were always at Hogwarts, but now that you are at St. Mungo's.  Dumbledore won't be able to keep such a severe eye on you.}_

_Harry gulped and nodded.  It was true.  He hadn't wanted to leave Hogwarts, but he had to for two years.  As a junior mediwizard, he had to train for two years at St. Mungo's before he was full fledged mediwizard--- no matter how high his MEDs had been.  He'd gotten a one year sabbatical as he'd had to prepare to take the Potions Mastery for a second time.  But he had no excuses now, like he had none at the end of that fateful summer in becoming a Death Eater.  Hana was worth it though._

_{Only your ssshirt will do.}  Pulling off his shirt, he didn't know what or how Voldemort was going to mark him.  {Turn around.}  Harry turned around to show Voldemort his slightly tanned back.  He felt the feather light touches of the Dark Lord's finger tracing over his lower back.  {Easssy.  It will take ssseveral sssessssssionsss before it'll be done.  Thisss isss only the firssst.}_

_What the bloody hell was Voldemort doing to him?  Harry knew for a fact that the dark mark on Severus and Draco had only taken a few hours to set.  What Voldemort was doing to him wasn't natural, he knew it.   It had to be worse, but as his body started feeling a heady burst of pain that made him sink down to his knees, he found he didn't have the strength to protest.  All he could do was black out into merciful oblivion.  _

~__

_"WHAT IS THIS?" Severus shouted when he saw the completed mark that Voldemort had done on his back.  The tattoo had only fully visualized when it was complete, and it had taken weeks for it to be done with.  Harry had suffered each agonizing session, not that he had much of a choice.  Voldemort didn't take no for an answer._  

_Harry dreaded to think what Severus would say when he told him what the mark stood for.  Voldemort had been too pleased with how brilliant the tattoo had come out.  After all, it wasn't just any tattoo.  Harry guessed it proved the Dark Lord right and everyone else wrong.  "Voldemort marked me."  _

_"I thought he said he wasn't going to give you a mark, that it would make you look suspicious to Dumbledore!" Severus exclaimed, his eyes flashing darkly.  He hadn't wanted his innocent and pure lover marked, not with something like Voldemort's darkness.  "I'll kill him."_

_"You can't," Harry remarked, pulling Severus against him to stop him from doing something possessively foolish.  Severus, for such an intelligent man, could do some very stupid things when jealousy overtook him.  "And it's not what you think."  _

_He was glad he'd overcome the shock of it when he learned what the mark truly was.  He'd always thought he was… well it did make sense in the end.  Why he had certain abilities…   Voldemort had been too pleased, but not terribly surprised.  Just vindicated.  "What is the mark?  What do you see, Sev?"_

_"It's a serpent."_

_"Yes, it's a serpent," Harry stated in a low and weary voice.  "It's the sign of Slytherin."  _

_Severus had a feeling that whatever Harry was about to say wasn't going to be good.  He traced his finger along the serpent that was wrapped in a ball at the base of Harry's spine and jerked his finger away when the serpent moved to hiss at him, looking like it was about to leap out and bite him.  "It's all right," Harry murmured, reaching out with his hand to place Severus's long fingers on his back again.  "It only looks like it's alive.  It's warded to protect me, but if it gets used to your touch he'll realize that you don't want to hurt me."  _

_Listening to Harry's words, he softly stroked the serpent until it stopped its hissing and settled back into its nap.  "What is it, Harry?"  _

_"It's the sign of Slytherin," Harry repeated.  "Only Voldemort and Sahar have it.  Do you know what that means?"_

_Oh god, he knew.  Severus withdrew his hands and pulled away from Harry.  Everything made sense now, why Voldemort had been so willing to grant Harry's every wish as long as Harry joined him.  Who wouldn't want another member of the Slytherin line on his side?  Harry was the perfect heir, stronger than Sahar and male.  It was frightening to think of how much power Voldemort had if he could really shift Harry to his side.  The balance of power was faltering.  _

_"You're an heir of Slytherin?"_

_Harry nodded miserably.  "Voldemort says it doesn't lie.  It will only appear on one with some sort of Slytherin blood.  It's purpose is to make sure that a Slytherin heir is a Slytherin heir.  It will kill anyone that doesn't have blood that attempts to have the mark placed on them.  It's to make sure no one but a Slytherin is made heir.   No wonder I was in such agonizing pain, but that was only a taste of what was to come if I didn't.  I'm glad Voldemort was so sure because I was so close to death.  He isn't sure how I'm a Slytherin, but he knows for certain nowt hat I am."  _

_"He would be sure without it," Severus replied bitterly.  "Parseltongue has only been passed through the Slytherin bloodlines.  Actually, it makes a lot of sense--- your aptitude at Charms and Potions, those were what Salazar Slytherin was most adept at other than the Dark Arts.  You show an unnatural affinity for that as well."  _

_He hated to be reminded of that, but it was true.  And that reminded him of something, hadn't Dumbledore said that his mother had been splendidly gifted at Charms?  Was it possible that he wasn't a half blood after all?  But, no, he had to be.  Petunia Evans Dursley was DEFINITELY not a witch.  Was it possible that his mother had descended from squibs?  Possible.  But why wouldn't Dumbledore tell him that?  And how the sodding hell had he pulled Godric's sword from the sorting hat?  Wasn't he supposed to be a true Gryffindor?  _

_"Then why does **he** want you to marry his daughter Sahar if you're related to her?"  _

_Harry chuckled darkly, enough to send strange tingles down Severus's spine.  It was almost like Voldemort's laugh.  "Voldemort says that we can't be that closely related.  Besides, he wants the Slytherin bloodline to strengthen.  He doesn't care how closely we may be related as long as it means strengthening the Slytherin bloodline."_

_"Thank god you're married to Hermione."_

_Harry nodded and rested his head on Severus's strong shoulder.  "I never thought I'd hear you say that."_

_"The witch does have her uses."  _

_Harry laughed, more carefree and cheerful that it erased Severus's concern that Harry was associating too much with Voldemort.  He'd feared that he'd lose Harry to the darkness, and as much as he enjoyed Harry's Slytherin side--- he needed someone to love that could pull him out of the abyss he felt he was always falling in.  "She has more than her uses," Harry admonished, kissing Severus lightly on the lips.  "She's my best friend and a terrific mother."_

_Severus growled and thoroughly kissed Harry, pushing him hard up against the wall, letting their bodies touch each other intimately.  "Yes, and I'm glad she is.  If she wasn't, you'd be spending all your damn free time with Hana.  I need some of your time as well."  To further emphasize this, he rubbed his hard arousal against Harry's.  _

_Harry groaned and his only response was to kiss Severus back.  That was perfectly fine with Severus.  It had been days since they'd been able to be together.  Between Harry's continuous visits with the Dark Lord and his residency at St. Mungo's, Harry didn't have much time for himself.  And what time he did have was split between Hana and Severus.  Severus hated that, but he accepted it.  It made Harry happy, and whatever made Harry happy he could endure.  As long as Harry kept doing what he was doing with that skillful tongue of his.  He didn't care.  _

_"You have me," Harry moaned when he'd briefly pulled away to breath before diving back into the embrace.  Yes, he certainly did--- didn't he?  But it wasn't enough.  He wanted all of Harry, not just stolen moments like this.  But he couldn't.  This would have to be enough.  It had to be._

~

_They were at it again.  Harry shook his head as he heard Remus moaning.  Sirius must be a fabulous lover, Harry mused.  He'd been only too delighted to discover that Remus and Sirius had been lovers since their 5th year at Hogwarts.  Now that Remus was **finally** back from exile, though no one knew that but Dumbledore and the Order of the Phoenix.  If Voldemort knew, Remus would be killed.  As a werewolf, he was impure and tainted.  He didn't deserve to live.  _

_Remus wasn't going to stay long, that's why Harry didn't bother interrupting them from their lovemaking.  After Remus taught him all that he knew about Defense against the Dark Arts, he was leaving on one of the under-floo methods that muggleborns had derived to escape the law that Voldemort was still heavily considering enacting.  Harry hoped he didn't.  Merlin knew what he'd do if Hermione had to leave.  It was leave or be killed.  God knew what a fit Draco would throw.  _

_"I love you, Sirius," Harry heard Remus cry out.  _

_"I love you more," Sirius murmured in a strained voice, the voice of someone that was about to shatter.  Harry smiled, he recognized the nuances.  It was just how Severus sounded before he exploded.  The inflections were the same even if the voices were different._  

_Harry leaned his back against the wall and slid down.  He didn't think it'd be much longer, but after having stayed up all night working over the last few texts Severus demanded that he learn for his Potions Mastery--- he was exhausted and overworked.  If he just closed his eyes for a little bit, take a quick nap and he'd feel better. _

_He swore that Severus was harsher and stricter on him because he was his lover.  Severus wanted nothing more than for Harry to prove that he was the best.  Harry thought it had more to do with proving that he was a great teacher, which he was when he wasn't being prejudiced.  He yawned wearily.  As interesting as potions were, sleeping was better.  He missed being able to… fall into the darkness of rest.  _

_He didn't know how long he'd been sleeping when he heard Sirius's distinctive voice remark in a fervent whisper, "Do you think he heard us?"_

_"I have no doubt that he did," Remus retorted with a soft chuckle.  "Even those strong silencing charms you placed on the room, if he was this close, he'd still be able to overhear some of it."_

_Harry could imagine that Sirius was blushing.  It was rather sweet how Sirius was bashful about his sex life when he was such a wildly sexual wizard.  It was for that reason he didn't open his eyes.  He didn't think Sirius needed anymore embarrassment.  "He looks exhausted," Sirius commented with concern.  "Snape is overworking him."_

_"He certainly needs his rest more than I think, he needs to learn his lessons today," Remus replied thoughtfully.  It was then that Harry felt his body being lifted up and felt himself floated over to something.  It was when he was rested down on the bed and tucked in by Sirius?  Remus?  He didn't know.  "Let's let him rest.  He needs it."  _

_That was the last thing Harry remembered before he **blacked** out again.  _

~

Author's Note: Tons of flashbacks.  Satisfy a bit of your curiosity?  There's more to come but not a full chapter like this one and yes Harry's still in the wretched coma and yes you'll find out what's happening in "Harry's home world" I've already written that chapter.  Took me forever, almost made me cry too.  

Thanks to **Eaiva le Fay** (you're right, LV wouldn't harm HP as much if he was SL's husband), **Alicorn1** (thanks for reviewing all those chappies), Suzuka, Fate, **RainWaters** (nothing is ever certain), crazy-Girl-3000, Lindiel Eryn, emeraldtwinklingstar, **Alucardou** (angst is my specialty I'm afraid), **Natara** (Hana's Draco's daughter to be sure), DaughterofDeath, Lady Mandara Snake, a true Elsewhere, kickedoutofthegoblet, Fluffy the Teddy Bear Slayer, Kyra2, bramblerose-proudfoot, **A Typical Snarry Fan** (SL- Sahar Lestrange), Silver pup, **DraconisSenshi** (yes definitely), **Colibi** (still half breed), **Ewolf** (I don't see Siri as a leader, sorry), Calyx-girl, TigerBlak, eriee, The Shadow Bandit, Kateri1, Celena2, Corgi1, Siderius Cimmerii, asa-chan, Xyverz, lightyearsaway, athenakitty, Eternal Cosmos, Artemisu, **ennui deMorte** (some ppl don't like to think of the negative aspects of life when there's enough pain right now with Harry comatosed.)


	4. Wake the Weary

Title: **Harry Potter and the Extent of Existence  
**Author: Yih  
Disclaimer: This is slash, specifically HP/SS.  Don't like don't read and I don't own anything except new theories, Signy, Sahar, and Hana.    
Beta: Blackumbridge 

~

4: **Wake the Weary** (December 12, 2003 to December 16, 2003)

"He has not woken up yet, my Lord," Lucius stated delicately, knowing that this information would not please Voldemort in the slightest.  Despite how angry Sebastian had made Voldemort, Lucius knew that the Dark Lord thought of Sebastian like the son he never had.  "Draco has told me that he is still in a coma despite the best efforts from St. Mungo's, Pomfrey, and Severus."  

"What is his condition?" Voldemort asked harshly.  

"It's serious but not critical."  

"Lucius," Voldemort hissed warningly, "it does you no good to lighten the truth.  If I should discover that you are lying, there will be hell to pay."

Lucius inclined his head respectfully and obediently.  He knew that Voldemort appreciated the truth, no matter how terrible it was.  "I stand by what I said.  He isn't dying, but he isn't waking up either.  They don't know why."  

"It's been a month, can't those fools do anything right?"

"The Head Mediwizard has been to see Sebastian," Lucius reminded him, even though Voldemort should know that since he had personally sent the Head Mediwizard an owl telling him immediately to go tend to Sebastian.  "He said there is nothing more that can be done.  Sebastian has to wake up on his own."

"There must be something that can be done."  

"There isn't.  We have to wait, my Lord.  You know of his strength," Lucius whispered fervently.  "You know better than anyone how strong Sebastian is.  Trust in him to pull through this."  

Usually he didn't share anything with anyone, even with Bellatrix, the mother of his daughter.  But with Lucius, he'd found common ground.  Who else would understand the paternal feelings he had for Sebastian other than Lucius?  Lucius was fiercely protective of his son, it was Lucius that had put the foot down on Draco being marked a Death Eater until after his Hogwarts graduation.  Lucius understood.  Lucius could comprehend.

"I'm worried about how this will affect our relationship."

Lucius smiled sadly.  "It can't be any worse than the episode I went through with Draco seven years ago.  And we pulled through it, it takes time.  Time heals the rift."  

"I want you to inform me when his condition changes for the better or for the worse."

"I understand."

"You may go."

Lucius apparated away and Voldemort's crimson eyes turned to watch the flames flickering underneath the potion that he'd been attempting to brew.  It was a special potion.  He normally had Severus brew any potions that he required, but this potion was from the book of Slytherin.  He'd never share something like this with anyone other than a true Slytherin.  When Sebastian recovered, he would show the tome to him--- for Sebastian had the talent to brew these potions.  Hopefully the gift would breach the rift between them faster.  

He was adept at potions, but he was nothing like Sebastian even if Sebastian had failed his first Potions Mastery.  He blamed the failure more on Severus than on Sebastian's lack of ability.  Severus had gotten Sebastian too worked up and too weary to even think about doing well on it.  Simply put, Severus had pushed too fast in too short of an amount of time.  More than a summer had been required, a whole additional year actually.

But this potion that he was brewing was infuriating him.  It was a powerful revival potion that he believed would wake up even the most weary of souls.  It was a pity that the first two batches had been too discolored for him to risk testing it on Sebastian.  This one so far was turning out nicely.  If it failed to color properly, he'd give the instructions to Severus.  He simply did not want the young man he considered his son--- to never wake up again.  

And even if he did wake up, there was a strong possibility that he could suffer permanent damage.  This potion was also very powerful for healing.  The aftereffects weren't pleasant; it prevented sexual arousal for an undetermined period, but he was certain that Severus could counteract it with an aphrodisiac.  He couldn't very well expect Sebastian to father his grandchild without being able to get it up.  

Voldemort sighed and glanced down at the simmering potion.  It was the perfect shade.  Too bad about the side affect, but if it woke Sebastian up--- he didn't think anyone would be complaining too loudly.  A month was simply too long of a time for a wizard to be in a coma.  Something was dreadfully wrong.  

~

_"Daddy!" Hana cried out, running over to where Harry was sitting reading over some of his student's essays.  "Look at what I made for you!"_

_Harry lifted his face up and placed the papers on the desk, opening up his arms so that his 5 year old daughter could leap into his arms.  He embraced her tightly and kissed the top of her forehead gently.  "Did you draw me another of your pretty pictures?"  _

_She nodded and reached into her robes and withdrew the portrait she'd done of him.  For her age, she was remarkably good at getting the geometry of a body right.  Where she'd gotten the talent, he didn't know.  He knew for a fact that Hermione could only draw stick figures.  Maybe it was another hidden Malfoy trait.  He didn't know whether Draco could draw or not, but Draco did have a lavishly elegant handwriting.  _

_"It's beautiful," he commented as he studied his surprisingly well drawn face.  He was Hana's favorite subject to draw after Signy.  It still amused him to no end how Signy indulged Hana's every whim like he indulged Signy's and Hana's.  What was it about those two females that had him at their beck and call?  "Did you show mommy?"_

_Hana shook her head.  "I haven't shown her yet.  I wanted to show it to you first."  _

_"Why don't you to show mommy then?  I need to finish grading some paperwork," he murmured, handing back the portrait to her.  What he didn't add was that he also wanted to spend some time with Severus before he had his customary dinner with his family in their private apartments.  But first he had to finish grading these papers, then he'd go to see his snarky lover.  _

_Just the thought of that put a tender smile on his lips.  It was too bad that he didn't get to spend more time with Severus, but it was imperative that their relationship remain a secret.  They suspected Dumbledore knew, but the old coot wasn't about to tell and risk aggravating Harry any further.  It'd taken years for Severus to convince him that Dumbledore wasn't the great wizard he'd been in Harry's world.  But when convinced, Harry acted.  _

_"One more paper to go, then Severus."  _

_~_

"This will help."  Lucius handed a seal potion bottle to Severus, glancing down with concern at the prone figure of his son's best friend.  He'd grown to be very fond of the young man.  It didn't hurt either that Sebastian was the Dark Lord's favorite.  "_He _brewed it for Sebastian."  

"I've never heard of this," Severus said skeptically.  "How do I know it won't kill him?"

"You know that our Lord wouldn't kill Sebastian.  He may get mad and lose his temper at him, but he cares too greatly--- I daresay, loves him like the son he never had to even think about harming him like that.  He regrets that he hurt Sebastian this much.  I know the boy means a great deal to you."

Lucius had no idea how much, but Severus wasn't about to tell him.  Lucius might be the closest friend he had from Slytherin--- but Lucius was loyal foremost to his family then to Voldemort, and perhaps then to him.  "He does.  He is my protégée."  

"The potion our Lord is convinced will wake and heal whatever Sebastian might be inflicted with.  It's very powerful, but it does have some side effects."

Severus expected no less.  All strong potions did.  This one had a hint of dark magic to it.  But he was desperate enough to try anything now.  It'd been more than a month.  Wizards simply didn't stay in comas that long, especially strong wizards like Harry.  And nothing he'd brewed had been able to wake his lover.  "What side effects?"  

"Impotency."  

"Can it be counteracted by an aphrodisiac or can it not be mixed?"

"It can be mixed, so it should only be a temporary problem," Lucius answered smoothly.  "You know this potion is one of the few chances that we have left.  If the best team of mediwizards from St. Mungo's haven't been able to revive him yet and your potions haven't… don't you think that our Lord, being the greatest wizard of the day would be the only other wizard able to find a solution?"   

Lucius had a strong point.  But there was a problem.  "Why didn't he have me brew this?"  

"Because it comes from the book of Slytherin, his Slytherin inheritance.  You know that he will let no one put a _true_ Slytherin look into the book.  I believe that it's also warded against it.  Either way, he won't reveal to anyone outside the heirs."  

"I'll take the potion."  

"Good," Lucius murmured.  "_He_ told me to stay here until Harry woke up."

Severus nodded.  It didn't surprise him that Voldemort would command Lucius to do such a thing.  "I hope this works for Sebastian's sake."  

"We all do."

~

_"I failed."  _

_"You failed?" Severus asked with confusion, perplexity, mystification.  _

_Of course Severus wouldn't be baffled, Harry thought with a sigh, he wouldn't have expected this.  But Harry had known when he'd finished the subject mastery that it was going to be a very close thing.  He didn't know if it was his exhaustion, his anxiety, or that there simply hadn't been enough time to learn all the material required--- but mixed together in whatever way--- they'd caused his failure.  _

_He'd received the owl post results.  This he handed over to Severus.  "I failed the potions mastery," he clarified.  "It's all there in red ink and parchment.  I apologize, Severus, for letting you down."_

_"I don't believe this!" Severus fumed, reading the failure with blazing black eyes.  "These fools don't realize that you're the most talented potions students I've had in all my years of teaching.  They give you a very low fail, it's not even a low fail, that means were you this close," Severus hold his fingers open to the smallest degree, "to having a very low pass.  I don't understand how they can just tip the scales like that!  You deserved to pass!"_

_"You know my potions theory is slightly faulty especially when it comes to brewing.  I take too much leeway with it.  I'm not one that follows the directions closely," Harry murmured pacifying.  "I can always take the mastery again later."  _

_"If it weren't for your faulty potions theory," Severus continued harshly, "I wouldn't have been able to get passed the moments where I've been stuck in making new potions.  You see out of the box.  It takes extraordinary genius to not get trapped.  It's what makes you a great mediwizard.  You can adapt to change and turn your gears to act against it."  _

_Harry shrugged and pulled the parchment from Severus's hands.  "It's okay, Sev," he said gently, pulling his lover into his arms.  He wasn't all that upset that he'd failed.  He would have liked to passed.  His ego certainly would have been happier, but he'd only really wanted to do well for Severus.  "There's next time, and besides," he kissed Severus on the lips gently, "I could really use your help in cheering me up."_

_"You are an insatiable young man," Severus growled, kissing Harry back hard.  _

_"Yes," Harry licked Severus's bottom lips, "I am.  And it's a very good thing too."_

_"It is indeed."  _

~

They had administered the potion.  Sebastian still hadn't woken up.  He hadn't even moved.  They waited a few minutes, for it'd take a few minutes for the potion to work its way through his system and start doing its job.  The minutes seemed to drag on forever, but when Sebastian's body jerked slightly they both let out a sign of relief.  It was working.  That was the most movement Severus had seen from Sebastian in weeks.  

But their sighs of relief turned into gasps of horror as Sebastian's body seemed to seize out of control.  Both Lucius and Severus acted quickly, binding Sebastian's limbs down tightly so he wouldn't unconsciously hurt himself.  Once Sebastian was out of danger of hurting himself, Severus turned dark and angry eyes toward Lucius, "You didn't fucking tell me that he could have a seizure, Lucius Malfoy!"  

"I didn't know," Lucius whispered hoarsely.  "Our Lord never told me of that side affect."  

"Get Poppy," Severus snapped.  "I need her help.  She's the only one that can administer a strong enough sedative."  

Lucius was already running to get Poppy.  Why hadn't their Lord told him?  He couldn't believe that Voldemort would hurt Sebastian, not when he knew that Sebastian was like a son to him.  That meant Voldemort didn't know and that Voldemort would be furious at himself.  Merlin, he hoped Poppy could right the wrong.  

~

_"Do you promise to pledge all your allegiance to me, Sebastian Biggerstaff?" _

_It had been a summer delay.  Voldemort had granted Severus this privilege as he knew the blow this was the first student that Severus had thought had had potential to train on.  It hadn't come without a price though.  Severus had been put under Cruciatus several times before Voldemort had agreed, and Harry had had to watch.  It had been brutal seeing his lover under the Unforgivable._

_It had almost made him give in but he'd remembered what Severus had strictly told him not to do.  He mustn't give in even if Severus was under great pain.  If he did, they would both lose out and his previous efforts would have been for nothing.  That was what prevented him from giving in, and Severus had been right.  Voldemort had eventually given them the time required.  It didn't hurt that Voldemort was pissed at him for marrying Hermione either.  _

_"Yes," Harry declared firmly, bowing his head slightly toward Voldemort.  It was the first time he'd ever voluntarily inclined his head toward the Dark Lord, previously he had to be put under Cruciatus before he'd bow.  It was this stubbornness and this strength that he knew intrigued Voldemort.  Voldemort wondered why he wasn't afraid.  Let him keep guessing, Harry thought.  Let him guess.  "I am yours to command, and I pledge my allegiance to you, Voldemort."  _

_He was the only one that dared to say Voldemort's name too.  "I am pleased that you have finally decided to join me," Voldemort declared, "but I am displeased that it has taken you this long, Sebastian, to pledge your loyalty to me."  _

_Yes, he supposed Voldemort would be.  The Dark Lord had an immense ego and couldn't comprehend why someone wouldn't be drawn to the power that he had offered Sebastian.  Some people weren't as power hungry and quite simply Harry wasn't afraid of Voldemort's wrath.  It was only because of the law the Voldemort had enacted and because he worried about Severus's own fate that made him decide to become a Death Eater.  _

_"I apologize, my Lord."  _

_"You will need to be punished," Voldemort stated calmly.  Harry tensed his body, he knew what to expect.  "Crucio!"  Harry fell to his knees, but he didn't cry out in pain.  He wasn't that used to the Unforgivable, but he didn't doubt after years in Voldemort's service that he would be.  Besides, from what he'd heard from Severus--- Cruciatus was a laugh compared the pain of burning the dark mark into the skin, into the very core of the being.  _

_The pain of Cruciatus was terrible.  He felt like every nerve was being burned at the tip.  He wished his limbs would go numb from the pain but the Unforgivable was that it kept increasing in pain little by little as to keep the brain from being accustomed to it.  That was why being kept under Cruciatus for too long was dangerous; it was because the pain was never constant, it was always increasing.  _

_Harry lost count of how long he'd been under the Unforgivable.  But when he was released from it, he could hear Severus begging with Voldemort.  It took him several long moments to discern what his lover was pleading.  "Don't mark him with the dark mark, my Lord," Severus begged.  "Not now, not yet.  I want him to study with me at Hogwarts for a year and you know that Dumbledore has placed wards on the place to alert him of any Death Eaters in the vicinity."_

_"And why would he need to be at Hogwarts anyway?" Voldemort inquired coldly.  _

_"Because he failed the Potions Mastery and I will not have a student I've taken under me personally fail to receive his Potions Mastery!" Severus exclaimed, his dark eyes burning intensely.  "I won't allow it.  I won't.  And I am a Hogwarts professor, so he will have to be underneath Dumbledore's eye all the time.  Also Dumbledore still trusts him, trusts him more than he trusts me--- you will get another spy, my Lord."_

_Harry couldn't bring himself to focus on anything.  He just let his head rest on the cool marble and hope that he wouldn't throw up.  He felt bile coming up his throat since he purposely had eaten nothing.  There was nothing more than he hated throwing up dry heave.  The horrible taste of stomach acid was even more nauseating than the pain that got him to purge his stomach contents.  _

_"I will consider it."  Voldemort gazed down calmly at where Sebastian was lying on the ground.  He wasn't twitching or crying or babbling.  Sebastian was truly a marvel in strength.  Not once in the fifteen minutes he had been under the painful Unforgivable had he cried out.  He wondered what it would take to break him, even if he didn't want to break him.  He wanted Sebastian whole, but that didn't mean he couldn't ponder on exactly what it would take to crush him.  "Take him back to Hogwarts.  His initiation is done--- for now."  _

~

No matter what Poppy did they couldn't get Sebastian to stop convulsing.  She was about to portkey to St. Mungo's and get a specialized team for wizard seizures when Sebastian stopped trembling and shaking uncontrollably.  Severus held Harry down by his arms and shoulders just as Lucius was doing on the opposite side.  He wanted nothing more than to hold his lover in his arms, but he couldn't--- not with Lucius or Poppy there, especially Lucius.  

It seemed to take forever, but Harry finally managed to open his eyes.  Severus nearly wept with relief.  It had been so long since he'd seen those brilliant emerald eyes.  So long since he'd seen the passion that was held within them.  "I--- hurt," Harry choked out as he coughed out blood.  "I---" he couldn't speak as the blood kept coming out of his mouth and was starting to leak from his nostrils.  

"Hush," Severus commanded as he had a valid excuse to lift Harry up and to bend him over the bed so that the blood would drain out of his body instead of choking him.  He knew that Poppy was already working her magic.  He could feel the healing spell being cast.  It wasn't too long before Harry stopped bleeding and he felt Harry relax in his arms.  "Are you all right?"

"Yes," Harry croaked, but he wasn't all right--- far from it.  "I'm all right."

"You should rest," Severus stated firmly, not letting any emotion show up in his voice that might attract Lucius's attention.  He knew that Lucius was here to see thepotion work and then he would leave.  When he left, he'd be able to rant and rave to Harry about how scared he'd been--- how Harry had paralyzed him with fear.  But he couldn't until Lucius left.  "You've been out for more than a month Sebastian, you need to rest."  

Harry nodded and was about to close his eyes when Lucius remarked, "Our Lord will be very pleased to know that his potion worked.  Do you have anything that you would like to tell him, Sebastian?"  

Shutting his eyes deliberately, Harry didn't say anything for a few long moments and Lucius just stood there waiting.  Finally Harry opened up his lips to answer, "If he expects me to thank him, then tell him what he expects.  But if you want to tell him the truth and what is the truth, he reversed what he did to me and I'm not thankful.  He's the one that put me where I am."  

Lucius nodded and used the portkey to return to Riddle Mansion.  He actually had expected something along those lines.  If Sebastian hadn't responded like that, it wouldn't be the Sebastian that Voldemort thought of as a son.  Sebastian might aggravate and displease the Dark Lord more than Voldemort wished, but Sebastian also was the challenge that he thrived on.  

"He's gone," Severus stated.  

"And you should retire to your rooms," Poppy added.  "You're right.  Sebastian needs his rest, and he'll not get it if you're here.  I know how you two talk when you're together about potions.  I'll let you speak for a little while, but I expect you to let him get some rest.  Do you understand me, Professor Snape?"

Severus nodded.  Harry did need his rest.  Once she'd gotten his physical confirmation that he understood, she left to prepare some potions that would make Sebastian's sleep tonight more pleasant.  Severus made sure she was gone before he bent down and brushed a kiss over Harry's forehead gently.  "I would have killed him, but he brought you back."  

"You can't kill him," Harry murmured.  "You know that no one has that power."  

"You do," Severus whispered.  "That's why he wants you so badly, Harry.  You have such extraordinary power.  I shudder to think of what would happen if you and Voldemort got into a duel.  I do not know who would win."  

Harry shook his head and coughed violently.  "We can't duel."  Severus was puzzled and Harry reached up with a hand to caress his beloved's cheek.  "We have brother wands.  The cores of our wands are the same.  I can't ever duel him, and he can't ever duel me."

Severus's hand closed over Harry's and pressed it harder against his cheek.  "You never told me that before."  

"There was no need."  

"I love you, you foolish Slytherin."  

Harry smiled and cupped Severus's face with both of his hands and drew Severus down for a heartbreakingly tender kiss.  "And I love you my Potions Master."  

~

**Author's Note:** Harry finally wakes up and next chapter you learn about what's been going on in the his "home world".  It'll be out by the 26th.  The story's currently on a mini hiatus as I'm back from school.  I should be able to pull myself together by then as I decide which class to cut back out.  Fallen will most likely be delayed.  Thanks for being patient and I really appreciate the reviews.  They're food for my muse.  

Thanks to Serpent of Light, Black Llama, keebler-elmo, kyra2, kickedoutofthegoblet, Natara, Lindiel Eryn, TigerBlak, Lady Mandara Snake, **Eaiva le Fay** (haha 'bout Sirius and being shy), RainWaters, Asha Dreamweaver, Redrum, **crazy-Girl-3000** (he only bows on certain occasions, just happened to show the ones when he does), Alucardou, Calyx-girl, A Typical Snarry Fan, DaughterofDeath, Colibi, atalante, asa-chan, Shuki – aka Quickjewel, athenakitty, Xyverz, IncubusSuccubus, VD, The Shadow Bandit, **Allyanna** (yes), deliolith, Lakoma, Kateri1.  

**Xiaou:** Thanks so much for your reviews, they've been very inspirational.  If you write a long email, you might want to paste it somewhere else before you send it to make sure you don't lose it.  FF.net has done that to me several times too.  And your reference to Hitler is dead on.  

**~Mary~:** I don't really like doing MPREG in this story.  And if there were MPREG, it would be highly---- HIGHLY dangerous.  


	5. Consequence of Time

Title: **Harry Potter and the Extent of Existence  
**Author: Yih  
Disclaimer: This is slash, specifically HP/SS.  Don't like don't read and I don't own anything except new theories, Signy, Sahar, and Hana.    
Beta: Blackumbridge   
Note: If multiple (and I do mean multiple) character deaths offend you and make you bitterly depressed, I would suggest not reading this chapter.  But (then again) if you don't, you won't understand any of the plot after this point when I get around to writing it.  Boo hoo to you.  

~

5: **Consequence of Time** (December 23, 2003 to December 26, 2003)

He watched his lover sleep.  He didn't want to leave Severus, but it was no dream that he had gone through.  It was not a nightmare.  It was too vivid.  Too real.  Besides as he opened up his palm to where he'd slashed himself, he wouldn't have been able to injure himself if it had only been a dream.  Or a nightmare.  No, it was real.  He had to go back home.  He had a year…

_You must go back, Harry.  _

**_Who are you?_**__

_I am you.  _

**_Oh god, I'm delusional._**__

It was pitch black wherever the hell he was.  He couldn't remember anything except being brutally punished by Voldemort however long ago that had been.  So why was he here?  And where was he?  It was so dark, he couldn't see anything.  Nothing.  It almost unnerved him.  Even in a dark room, there was some light.  Here there was the absence of light.  

It was then he saw a waver of something.  Someone striding toward him.  The figure he saw had his hand out and a ball of light that was in his hand.  Wandless magic, quite impressive actually.  He had been experimenting with it himself, but hadn't quite gotten that far enough to do something like that.  

Slowly as the figure came into view, he was thinking of how much _he_ was dressed like Severus.  Black cloak, black robes, black boots.  All black was definitely a Severus thing.  It was when he looked up to glance at the face that startled him.  It was him.  Him, changed though.  Older and more lined than he was currently.  But still it was like looking at a mirror image of himself.  

**_Who are you?  _**He tried to lash out, but Harry--- fuck that wasn't him--- that thing that looked like him avoided him and waved his other hand over Harry, effectively disabling him from moving.  **_Who the fuck are you?  _**__

_I am you.  I am who you will become.  If I tell you why I'm here will you stop struggling?  Because it's taken a tremendous amount of energy to come to you through the stretches of time and space.  It would be easier if I did not have to hold you.  _

Slowly he nodded.  He wanted to find out and the spell that--- that he had used on himself hadn't been in a threatening manner, only to protect himself from himself?  Again he, god it wasn't him, but _he_ waved his hand over and released the binds that had been holding him still.  He even took a step back to show that he didn't mean any harm.  **__**

**_Now tell me, we had an agreement.  _**

_We did, _agreed the him that was not him.  _Do you remember 'Mione?  Ron?  Professor Snape?  The Dumbledore that wasn't as manipulatively corrupt?  The Voldemort that was insanely mad?  The life that you left behind and that you haven't tried going back to in seven years?_

**_But I have tried!  I have!  I have!_**

_Not hard enough._

**_Who are you?  How do you know?_**

_I am you.  Of course, I would know.  You have lost your desire to go back.  Everything here is perfect.  You have Severus as much as you can have him.  Hermione's like the sister that you never had.  And you have a daughter that worships the ground you tread over, Hana.  Life couldn't be more perfect.  And Voldemort doesn't want to kill you, he'd rather do the opposite, doesn't he?  He wants you to live and be the father of his grandchildren.  He wants you to be like his son.  _

**_How do you know all this?!  How???_**

_I am your future.  I am what you will become.  It's been eight long years since I've been here.  I miss it.  God, I miss Hana.  I miss Herm and I miss Dray.  But the person that I miss the most is Sev.  _His older self bent his head down and let his long strands cover his face.  _I miss everything here.  It's so much simpler and easier.  I wish that Voldemort hadn't gone crazy.  You wield enormous influence over him, you know.  You can make him back down.  He loves you in his own way.  He'd do anything for you.  _

**_Why are you here?  _**

_To tell you that you have to go back home.  That you are needed more there even if you want to stay here.  If you don't go back, everything that you once loved and cherished will be destroyed.  It will all be gone.  And it's more terrible than you can even imagine.  Take the orb, _his future self urged, _take it and look into it.  This is a true seeing orb, unlike Trelawney's parlor tricks.  _

He took it not knowing what he would see, dreading what he would see.  To his relief he saw green landscape, lush grass that seemed to grow everywhere.  As he focused in on the ground, he saw something different about the grounds.  He tried to look closer, but he still couldn't quite get close enough.  He squinted, he blinked and then he saw it.  He knew what it was.  It was a wizarding graveyard.  

Shimmering over the grass were silver traces of a marker that told who rested beneath the Earth.  He glanced over the rest of the field and saw now the silver, the gold, the grey, the sky blue, and various colors that shimmered over the lush field.  So many dead, so many lost and gone.  The one he was standing over was deep silver.  It seemed to stop waving and solidify enough that he could make out who the marker was for.    

_Draco Malfoy, 1980-2003, 23 years old  
Betrayer of the Dark and Brother in Arms to the Light  
May his soul rest where it was once torn  
Dearly beloved son of Narcissa and Lucius_

He strolled onward, down the row recognizing far too many names.  Far, far too many names.  Susan Bones.  Terry Boot.  He felt the tears threatening to slide down his face.  But it felt wrong to brush them aside as he saw a crimson marker.  Oh god, he knew who this was.  

_Ronald Weasley, 1980-2000, 20 years old  
Brave, courageous, and unwilling to surrender  
Beloved husband to Hermione Granger  
Wonderful son and brother  
All that was asked of him… he did willingly_

The grave next to Ron shimmered a light yellow.  

_Hannah Lily Weasley, 2000-2001, 1 year old_  
_She never had a chance to truly live  
Precious daughter to Ron and Hermione_

Oh god.  Hana--- no Hannah had been alive here too.  Born a year later than his Hana, but still…  He knew who the dark gold's grave was.  His sister of the heart.  

_Hermione Granger Weasley, 1981-2001, 20 years old_  
_Died protecting her reason for living and breathing  
Darling wife of Ron Weasley  
Caring and loving mother to Hannah  
Never was there a woman so valiant and brilliant_

He passed more graves.  Nymphadora Tonks.   Fleur Delacour.  Gabrielle Delacour.  Fred and George Weasley.  Arthur Weasley.  Cho Chang.  Seamus Finnigan.  Oliver Wood.  Remus Lupin.  Minerva McGonagall.  Then at the end of the row was a grave with outrageous orange.  

_Albus Dumbledore, 1846-2003, 157 years old_  
_The upholder of all that is Light and Good  
Died defending Hogwarts to the very end  
Pray there be a Heaven full of candy for this soul  
The best Hogwarts Headmaster ever…_

Harry walked through the rest of the graves.  Ginny Weasley.  Bill Weasley.  Molly Weasley.  The only ones from the Weasley family he hadn't seen their graves were Charlie and Percy.  Oh god, the entire family almost.  There were more that were dead.  Lucius Malfoy and Narcissa Malfoy.  Everyone that he'd known and loved was dead.  Dying sometime after the time he'd left.  The most deaths seemed to occur between 2000 and 2003.  If only he had been there… if only.  

Before he could even let the reality really crash into him, he was jerked out of the graveyard when his older self took the orb from him.  Even though he couldn't see the rows and rows of markers, that didn't make the image in his head fade.  He still remembered for it lingered and would not fade.  

His older self brushed away the tears gently.  _It is awful, I know.  That was what Severus showed me when I first arrived back.  And that is what will come to pass if you do not return.  It's 2005 right now, and most of them are still alive because you went back so that I could be there.  If you do not go back, they will suffer and all that I have shown you will come true.  _

**_Sev is still alive?  _**__

_Yes, he was one of the few left.  But he was hiding, waiting for you, for me to come.  He knew that you, I would come.  That it was only a matter of time.  We failed the first time.  The first time he said you, I only went back to the Final Battle where Dumbledore died.  It wasn't enough.  This time I went back eight years and it was enough.  That was why you couldn't go back when you tried before graduation.  You can't be in any universe at the same time with yourself.  _

**_How are you able to get through to me?  Why can't they get to me back home if you can?  Why?  _**

_Because Voldemort placed a complicated barrier on both sides of the door.  They figured out part of it, enough that the gate could open but it wasn't enough for them to communicate to you since they had no idea where you are.  I do.  It's not hard because I have a connection to the Voldemort in that world.  _He pulled off his cloak and shed his robes, then pulled up his shirt to show him on his back the tattoo that Voldemort had placed on him.  _And I'm only able to get to you now at this moment because your soul instinctively tries to get back to where it belongs.  _

_You belong here Harry.  This is your home.  This is your world.  If you don't save it, who will?  You have to come back.  Think of all the deaths that will occur if you don't.  Right now, Hermione, Draco, Ron, and Hannah are still alive.  Severus loves you.  The world is hopeful.  The war has been at a standstill, but it's turning now.  It won't be long now.  It won't be long at all.  I would change one thing though of what I've done.  Don't wait.  Teach them. Teach Hermione, Draco, Ron, teach anyone you think is strong enough to stand against Voldemort.  Don't wait until it's too late.  _

**_How?  I've tried to get back, but I can't.  I can't.  _**

_You can try soon.  Wait a while.  Wait a little while longer.  Give me exactly a year and you'll be free to go through.  It gives you time to sort out everything here.  We have to do this at the same time for it to work.  If we don't, we'll both get pushed back.  Remember we both can't exist in the same world at the same time.  One year from now at noon.  _

**_I have no choice do I?_**

_You'll go back eventually, and they won't even miss you.  To them here, you will look older that's all.  I will look older, and I will have changed but they won't.  It'll be a joy to not have to have the same worries that I've had here._

**_But Voldemort wants to wage war on the Americas.  _**

_Only for his ego since he felt like he hasn't been a Dark Lord recently.  Too quiet and not enough action.  You just have to convince him that no one thinks he's getting weaker.  And for god's sake, stop Bellatrix's influence.  She does wield some persuasive powers over him, as much as he doesn't want to admit.  And Harry?   _

**_Yes?_**

_Whatever you do, don't marry Sahar yet.  _

**_I don't intend to.  _**__

_You will have to_, his future self murmured wearily.  _That's how you'll bargain with Voldemort to get what you want.  He has the text that you need to get back.  He knows how to open the wards that our Voldemort set.  You will have to tell him about yourself.  Take Veritaserum and tell him the truth. _

**_That's suicide!_**

_No, he loves you in his own way.  He wouldn't kill you.  Trust me, when he realized how close he was to driving you insane, it made something inside of him snap.  He regrets it terribly.  He doesn't desire to punish you, but he won't be lenient toward you either.  He pushes the people that he loves the hardest, you and Sahar.  Bellatrix can't hope to compete against you two for his affections.  _

_You need to use the marriage to Sahar as leverage.  Voldemort will still want something from you.  He is a Slytherin.  You must bargain that, and he will give it to you.  He will indulge you, Harry because he cares about you.  And because he wants his grandchildren to carry your blood.  And Harry?  _

**_Yes?_**

_When you go back, listen to everything Severus has to tell you.  He will know everything, and he will already love you.  Realize that he knows everything.  Realize that he is the key to adjusting to your home again.  And realize that he's the only one that knows who you really are.  _

**_But can't I tell them?  _**

_No.  Voldemort must not realize who you are, and that means that they can't know.  No one can know, Harry, that it's you--- not until after he's dead.  You must kill him before he realizes what a threat you are to him.  I made a mistake.  I let him know who I was.  If he knows he'll target you relentlessly, and people will sacrifice themselves to keep you safe.  You don't want that, do you?_

**_Of course not!  But my scar is impossible to hide.  _**His older self brushed away the hair that covered his forehead and Harry saw that there was no scar on his forehead.  **_But how?  _**

_Muggle cosmetics and charm after charm with a few dozen altering potions.  You can't go back looking exactly like yourself Harry.  But all that really needs to change is getting rid of the scar and your eyes.  Your eyes are too vivid and too unique.  But muggle contacts solve that problem as well, and you've been growing your hair out.  That will help.  A few subtle changes that Severus will help you with and it will workout.  _

**_I don't think I can do it.  _**__

_If you can't do it, I can do nothing.  You must because I must.  If you don't do it, I won't exist--- and your friends and loved ones will die.  You must Harry, and you must go back as Sebastian Biggerstaff.  Now go back to Sev.  He misses you dearly and he loves you so much….._

Harry sighed as he shifted to wrap his arms around Severus's waist.  He leaned his head on Severus's chest.  If he went, he wouldn't see his Severus for a few years at least.  He knew it would take a lot of preparation and time to defeat Voldemort.  It wasn't going to be easy, and he hoped that Severus would understand.  He leaned upward and pressed a kiss on Severus's lips.  God, he was going to miss Severus.  He had one year… one year in which to prepare himself to let go and to never let Severus forget how much he loved him.

"I love you, Sev.  I do."  

~

"Please don't do this," Severus begged.  "Please don't.  You know how much I love you, Harry."  

"You know there is no other way," Harry murmured back, his hand threading its way through Severus's long and silky locks.  "Dumbledore won't survive a duel with Voldemort.  I can.  If I don't do this, who will?"  He leaned up and pressed a lingering kiss on his lover's lips.  Who knew he'd fall for this Severus too?  

"I can't live without you, you bloody brat," he growled, his hands wrapping around Harry's face and kissing him like he was never going to let go of him.  "I won't live without you.  This is suicide.  We still have time.  You said there was year.  There is still a year, Harry.  Don't do this now.  Don't be the damn Gryffindor that you were.  Remember, you are a Slytherin too."  

Harry smiled sadly, resting his head on Severus's shoulder.  "I must do this.  He's only getting stronger, Severus."  He couldn't call Severus Sev here, it felt wrong.  They were the same man, but still slightly different--- different enough that it almost felt wrong.  But how could love ever be wrong?  "If I wait any longer….. it'll only get worse."  

"I don't want you to risk yourself like this," he snapped.  

"I know," Harry responded soothingly.  "But I have to.  I may be a Slytherin, but I'm a bloody Gryffindor too.  It can't be helped."  He kissed the side of Severus's neck affectionately.  "If I die….."  Severus pulled away and captured his lips in a brutal kiss to stop him from saying anything.  

"You will not die."  

"If I die," Harry continued persistently, "you already know what you must do.  You must survive and go into hiding, I've already told you where the safe spot where you were waiting for me through the passage of time and space is.  You must go there again.  This time, things have to be different.  You must not allow me to resume being Harry Potter.  I cannot.  I must not.  Or it will be the same.  And it cannot be this way."  

Harry turned his face away and glanced out at the barren fields that had once been blooming with life that surrounded the wasted Hogwarts.  He'd lied to his past, no his present self.  He couldn't face telling Harry that even if he went back there was no guarantee that he could save all his friends.  

True, he had prevented a slew of deaths but still--- it wasn't enough.  Half the Weasley family were dead.  Lucius Malfoy was dead, protecting his wife and son--- and his wife had gone mad.  But it was still better than the future that Severus had shown him when he had first arrived.  Draco was still alive, though haggard and worn out.  Hermione was still breathing, but Hannah and Ron were dead.  Tears fell down his cheeks.  Even coming back wasn't enough.  

As much joy as he had brought them by coming back as Harry Potter, it only made Voldemort start the attacks more viciously once he'd learned that his arch nemesis was back.  If he came back as someone else, Voldemort would be more relaxed and lenient than he had been this time.  They could slowly build up their defenses where last time they had not had the chance.  Things would be different next time.  

Next time….. maybe he would have to make a tough decision….. whether to stay here with Severus or go back to the world in which he had promised to return.  He didn't have that option this time.  He knew he was going to his death.  No matter what Severus did or say or do, it wasn't going to change the fact that he had to die.  If he didn't kill Voldemort, there was no telling if Severus would survive long enough to change what will come to pass if someone isn't there to change it.  

This was the only way.  He wasn't afraid to die.  He was only afraid of letting others down.  

~

"SEVERUS!" Harry cried out.  He had told Severus not to show up during the final battle, that it was more important for him to survive and guide his younger self to a more promising future.  He should have realized that Severus wouldn't listen to him, that Severus would never allow him to die without trying to do something to prevent.  But he couldn't, didn't Severus understand?  

This Voldemort was too strong and too invincible to be killed by Avada Kedavra.  No, there was only one curse that would kill him, and it required the sacrifice of one's self.  He'd do it, he'd do it if it meant that others would live and that the future would possibly be better than this.  He guessed he was a Gryffindor to the end.  Foolishly making a sacrifice for the greater good of all.  

He was running, but he didn't know if he would be in time.  Why did Severus think he could face Voldemort when Harry didn't even know if he could bring down the most powerful Dark Lord of all times?  He pushed Severus out of the way just in time as Voldemort cast an impenetrable barrier around them.  It ensured no one could escape until someone died.  At least it wasn't going to be Severus, Harry thought.  

"You foolish Slytherin," Harry murmured, his eyes gazing at Severus lovingly, "I love you."  

Then he turned away to face Voldemort, barely able to erect a shield as Voldemort's wandless attack hit him.  There was going to be no wands in this battle; there could be none.  Their brother wands would not attack each other, but that didn't mean that their magic couldn't react against them.  It was only the wands, the instrument for the magic to be directed that protested the attacks.  The inherent magic within them had no such disagreements.  

"If I die, you will die with me."  

It pained Harry to see how much this Voldemort had grown to resemble the Dark Lord that had been like a father figure to him in the other world.  But the mad glint in those crimson eyes was totally foreign, not at all like the cold calculation that he knew so very well.  This was not the Voldemort that he knew he could not kill, this was the Voldemort that he could.  He lifted his hand and formed an orb of pure magical essence.  

No one could escape the bubble that trapped both of them.  The dawning horror of Voldemort's eyes almost made him smile, but he took no pleasure in torture and murder like Voldemort did.  No, he was doing this because it was necessary.  He had to see this through to the end.  It was his destiny.  It was his fate since the day that he survived the Killing Curse.  This was what his life was meant for.  

This orb of power wasn't only going to burn their bodies, Harry had deliberately added another spell… a spell that would use his very life force to destroy Voldemort's.  It was the only way.  They would have no ghosts.  There would be no soul left.  It would be utterly destroyed and done away with.  Harry bit his lip and unleashed all the power and the life within him.  

"HARRY!  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Severus screamed dementedly as he collapsed onto his knees, his eyes filling with tears of anguish and agony as he watched his stupidly noble lover sacrifice himself for the greater good.  He knew what Harry was doing was right, but that didn't make it any easier to accept.  His vision was blurred while he watched Voldemort slowly burning to death with his lover.  "Harry," he whispered painfully, "I love you.  I love you so goddamn much."  

And it was too late to tell him that anymore because Harry was never going to wake up by his side anymore.  Harry was never going to laugh and kiss him playfully in the morning to get him into a more agreeable mood.  Harry was never going to bring him food when he forgot to get something to eat when he was absorbed in his potions projects.  Harry was never going to lovingly tell him he loved him whenever he thought he needed to hear that.

Never again because Harry was dead.  

Voldemort was dead too, but he felt no joy as he saw the barrier dissipate and there was nothing except the smoke from the burning bodies.  Harry's spell had destroyed their bodies and souls so completely that there were no traces left, not even ashes.  It would have been easier having something to bury, but there was nothing.  There was nothing.  

A single tear fell down his face.  He didn't bother to wipe it away.  What was the need?  He had no pride left when all that he'd lived for and loved was gone.  Not all gone though, his inner consciousness nagged, there was still hope that when Harry's past self came to their world from the other dimension that he would be able to reclaim his lover.  His fist clenched at his side.  He would make sure this time that Harry lived.  

Harry said that there was a year left.  He had a year to prepare, to research, to find anything that would keep his young lover alive.  He would do it.  Nothing would stop him.  Nothing.  He couldn't bear to lose Harry one more time.  No, he couldn't.  He didn't care what lengths it took, this present was going to be erased… from the history books… and rewritten.  

~

Author's Note: I hope you realize that the character death warning in the beginning was valid, but only valid to a certain point as this was a future that occurred that future Harry is trying to prevent with present Harry.  Timeline gets all confusing, but as I'm sure you've figured out by this point--- Harry will go back in time but he will look as he is, thus he won't need to change much of his physical appearance (eye color and scar b/c his hair is long now and he's so much older than Harry Potter could ever be).  Of course, the future's a bit changed as what future Harry showed him hasn't entirely occurred yet and you won't know what really happened until present Harry goes back.  As I said, it's not that similar to MOM at all (since I planned this time turning bit 9 months ago when I started writing this) but it is similar to a degree to the Paradox of Existence by Dragonlight; however, I've established more background in my story than hers has ;p by sheer volume of going through the years.  Oh god, this plot's so complicated I want to cry.  But I won't.  I won't be working on this for a while as I'm so stressed out I want to breakdown.  This story is on hiatus until bio lab is over with (I have a month more of hell then I'm sort of done).  'Til then, pray I update 'Fallen' and get those new series out (which have completed first chapters, just haven't released them.)  And please… please review ;p.

Thanks to Nelum, **Aserra (And my muse has finally broken down and gone into hiding, as I have been on my longest MOP/EOE drought… a month ;*(.  Thanks though, comparisons to MY and CC are –wow-), hjlavery, Psychomek, GoddessMoonLady, Redrum, **Irihi Safaia** (Sahar's an unknown at this pt.), **ShadowQuirk** (wow that's a lot of rereading, but good right?), Coo, Kyra2, **Draconisdagger2000** (dunno if we'll see an ickle Biggerstaff), ****RainWaters (yeah it is somewhat, slightly), kickedoutofthegoblet, ****Lindiel Eryn (yes it was a slip), **Lynxen** (this isn't actually suppose to be a true sequel, the next part is the real sequel, I just would rather MOP be complete and make myself feel good that I completed another work ;p), ****Anara (well, most of the flashbacks go in an order, though not chronological, but in a building pattern that makes you go: OH! The brother wand bit would only convince Voldie that much more that Sebastian's like him.  And Harry/Sev's relationship has never had much banter if you look back.  The banter is in other stuff I've written, but not this one.  And it'll appear in Part 3), Shinigami061, Lady Mandara Snake, lightyearsaway, athenakitty, ****menecarkawan (all questions answered?), Silver pup, DaughterofDeath, Black Llama, Death-TheOnlyTrueFreedom, Fawn, Colibi, Sabrina451, Lolita, **luntatyme** (JASON ISAACS is a sexy fucking gentleman), Eternal Cosmos, **walker-of-the-shadow-path** (the slytherin book is important, and your guesses are spot on), Korinna Myorin, ****crazy-Girl-3000 (don't do neopets sorry and I get enough junkmail), Jewelclaw Lady of Wind, ****TigerBlak (I need someone to get bio lab bitch off my back), ****bramblerose-proudfoot (perhaps), Winnie 2, ****Eaiva le Fay (he's only slightly more human, but enough that it makes you wonder wtf is going on his mind in regards to Sebastian.  Harry's close to Lucius b/c of Voldemort), ennui deMorte, Winnie2, Kater1, Roma, lizdarcy2, **Xyverz** (sorry that it was slow, but flashbacks do need to be shown if not for the reader's curiosity, but for my own resource fact bank), Shuki – aka Quickjewel.  **


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